Song of the Day — “Antony” by Twin River

AN OPEN LETTER TO THAT KID BEHIND THE COUNTER AT MCDONALD’S SERVING ME A MCFLURRY.

Dear kid behind the counter at McDonald’s serving me a McFlurry,

Don’t give me that look. Don’t. I do not appreciate that look. I know what I asked for, I know what I’m doing and, yes, I am fully aware it is -25°C outside. I want a cold ice cream treat. I don’t care if your silent teen judgment is free with every order, you do not get to give me that stare. It is not yours to give. Only my father can give me such a condescendingly disapproving wither like that.

You think this is an event which merits such a disapproving scowl? You know nothing. Here is a list of character-building moments where I got served that stare by my father:

• The first time I mowed the lawn when I was 12 and my lawn stripes were a little crooked
• The first time I sat behind the wheel of a car when I was 16 and couldn’t pop the clutch without making the transmission cringe
• When I was 21 and told him I got involved in the performing arts
• Every decision I ever made

Now take a minute here, kid, and ponder the following hypothesis: Do you really believe you have the necessary life experience to funnel enough meaning into that stare to make a difference? To actually make me question myself? To rattle my self-confidence to the bone simply by placing a disapproving glare upon my person? Actually, don’t think about it, I’ll tell you: No. No you don’t, kid. You don’t have that kind of leverage on me. You don’t have what it takes to, with a single evocative look, sear through the flesh of my chest and rend my insides to a putty of worthlessness, so just give me my damn McFlurry and let me walk out into this bitter, arctic Canadian Winter, downing spoonfuls of fucking ice cream and Cadbury creme egg mixture into my stomach and if I die here from some form of, I dunno, inner-hypothermia or something at least I’ll have died having made a single goddamned decision which didn’t make me feel like a piece of shit.

Well, it would be two decisions, actually, because the second good decision is to have listened to Twin River’s “Antony” on the drive over. It’s such a beautiful piece of shimmering pop rock, with all those jangling guitars and elevating vocals from frontwoman Courtney Ewan soaring into an airy, dreamy sequence of reverb and delicate climax. True Canadian treasures these folks are and cannot wait to hear more.