There are a handful of days that people remember in their lifetime that they will never forget. Birthdays (specifically your 16th, 18th,and 21st), first time they were dumped, first job, first time they got laid, the list goes on and on.

I call those moments “landmark days.” They are the ones that shape you, change your life for the better and sometimes worse. They open new doors and close old ones. Interestingly enough, when you ask people if they remember the worse days of their life, a lot will respond with a death in the family or a string of events for a week brought them days of sorrow, anger, frustration.

For 2 years, the some of the worst days of my live were when I lived in Limbo. Those days felt long and as if I was wandering through the desert in search of an oasis. I had no money, no job, was living at my mom’s house with my younger brother. I wasn’t eligible for unemployment. I had applied to hundreds of jobs only to receive 2 phone interviews (One brought me to Washington D.C. for a week and the other ended quickly when the recruiter found out I wasn’t passionate enough to sell data analytic software.) Most of my days were spent eating Family size Kashi Go Lean in the morning, writing a blog about issues in the military while playing Xbox simultaneously. At the end of every day, I felt I had done something worth while, that sooner or later, sitting in Navy Blue Nike Sweats and house slippers was going to get me the six figure salary that I thought I deserved.

Who would’ve know that I was absolutely wrong?

I mean I was way off. I literally thought that with the push of a button and hitting send, companies would be knocking on my door with offers and soon my stay in limbo would be over. Turns out I was knocking on their door more about borderline liveable salary that would allow me to rent a tent in the back yard of a 4 bedroom house in San Francisco. Now there is nothing wrong with that, but I’m not a big game hunter.

Limbo destroyed by self esteem. I grew a sense of entitlement and it killed my confidence. Limbo made me think I was better than every candidate out there looking for work. At 28, I was a published author, got my business degree, been on national media, and was part of a national veteran meeting in the West Wing of the White House.

In my eyes, I was one of a kind.

To every employer out there, I must have looked like a self entitled ass.

And it was my fault. I thought I was doing all the right things and that working from home really was the way to go. Truth was that I ended up bouncing my own ideas off myself, my questions to how to apply for work after college were answered by me, and that my search for knowledge and striving to be better (two things I have always done) stopped short in the middle of watching the best compilation of Vine Videos.

I finally got out of Limbo in 2013. After a long ride, I moved to NYC. I found a new home, a new job, and a sense of curiousity. Limbo was over and the days of feeling self — entitled, privileged, the “companies dont know what they are missing” days were far behind me. I ended up returning to who I was and vowed to never be in Limbo again.

And here’s what I learned:

1. Being in sweats and eating cereal all day gets you sitting on your couch watching Maury and endless reruns of FX shows.
2. I learned that when you think are being productive, you aren’t being productive.
3. Knowing your value is more important that having others value you.
4. When it rains, it f*ckin pours so bring an umbrella
5. A former football teammate of mine use to say “It’s a cold world out there so bring your own heat.” Boy was he right
6. Playing Call of Duty for hours on end does not count as a “creativity meeting.”
7. Cereal gets really old after awhile
8. The more willing you are to admit you need help, the more likely you will receive it.
9. My grandma use to say to me as a kid “You can’t win the lotto if you don’t play.” Weird because my grandma never gambled. But she was right. If you don’t go and put yourself out there, you can’t win
10. You have a real problem when you havent worn a suit in 6 months.
11. Days go by slow but life goes by fast. Don’t be the guy who wakes up at 40 still blaming others that you don’t have your dream job.