inward jot — 12/5/17
This morning, again educating me on time, that you have what you have. Grieving over what you wish you had on clock of time to do what you need to, or whining about it to any degree, thinking something like I did this morning, “Ugh… if I didn’t have to take both babies to school I could be getting soooo much done.” Dumb thought. Useless thought. WASTED thought, thinking. You use what you have. Here at tire place early and time to work. Guy told me the job wouldn’t be done till about 10 or so. I thought, “Lovely… oh, bless you….” Time to work. This is my reward. I found time. I didn’t find it, it found me. It’s more than patience, but control over your thinking, general mind, your principle character. All your truths that already fold and unfold in your vessel.
Time and I, our battles and skirmishes, and sometime outright wars that last for as long as they last, now apex. What can you do with time but work with it. Make it work for you. Time is silly, yes, but it IS. It more than exists, it influences, dictates, steers. Don’t resist it. That’s when it wins.
Encapsulated in this realization, what’s around me. The gentleman that works here at the Rohenert Park Les Schwab, telling me about his two year old and me speaking a bit about my little beatniks. Everything around me is not only just part of my time, part of this time here waiting for tire work to be finished. An understanding that I’m here WITH time — time to write, time to collect before the day tries to get away. It’s all education, every sliver and slice and droplet of time. I am being rewarded, and you will too if you use what time you have. If you only have four minutes to yourself, don’t be idle, don’t waste it. What are you doing? Write something down, research something associated with your aims, your work, your career, your desired career…. Be creative, crEATive!!
Time unfolds for you like a celebrity carpet, or long red row, and just for you, to highlight you and what you want to do. Bludging from this time here at the tire shop. Laptop on this small circle of a oddly colored and textured table while some lady goes on her phone, takes a selfie, and does another, then sends it to…. I’m working, and not saying I’m elevated above or better than anyone around me, but I will boast my connection to my time. I’m into this moment so far I’m my own explorer. Lewis, Clark, Drake, Hudson. And that’s all this is, a journey with self into mind through my clock spots. See what I see, and always be in the learn’s lean.
Some guy outside, pacing back and forth. How he uses his time, from what I can read from his face, hands in sweatshirt looking down, he thinks. His time here is spent planning, I think. Measuring his steps, what to do next. Not everyone is going to write like me, I know that. But, we should do something, something meaningful that contributes to our story. You have what you have, and to squander is to death-sentence. I’m being educated, still a student of what the clock say, and where I am in its blips.