Learn Journal —

New project, what I’ve learned and what I see students learning from me and from each other in class. Just now, today, in English 5, held an office hour for the entire class so anyone who wanted some conversation with me concerning their final essays could hear my feedback, have an idea build with me, whatever they needed. Couldn’t believe how much I walked away with, from the Emeritus Hall room. One student talking about Truth, how there are subject and objective truths and how characters are not only driven by their truths but discovery of new truths change character scope and sensibility, something like that. Another student, one of my favorites I’ll concede plans on writing her piece on change, and how change can be encouraging as well as fear-focused, educating and addictive. I’m learning more and more with the interactions with students of this semester that I need to wholly and pervasively put myself in student self. Not just some sense of it, but the tangibility, the actuality and immediacy of the student. Take notes, review notes, doodle in journal. I’m addicted to knowledge, yes, but the process of learning, how I learn, one of my students learns something either from me or another. In chasing new knowledge, you lead yourself, produce ideas and thoughts, or some random musing, thus changing your scope and sight. I’m learning to see things, everything, as a student would, does — deadlines and page requirements, research and where I write and when I read, how will I fit in everything… where will I transfer…. What’s not to be addictive? What’s not to utterly love and obsess over and in, about… I’m lost in my thoughts, entirely found, then I throw myself over and am lost in the sea of thought again.

This Summer, no classes, but research, writing essays not lectures, and logging all thoughts… how I’ll get there, what my major is… wait, is it Philosophy, or Literature? Do I have to choose a major right away, I forgot. I don’t think I do. I just want to learn more, more about me and what I’m doing, where I’m going with my notes. How many pieces will I write over Summer? Don’t focus on numbers… quantity of anything, just the process and feel, the music associated with your thought construction and composition. Eating a blueberry muffin in one of those quiet rooms in the library as I so many times have, seeing myself at day’s end, today, what I’ve learned. One reality I’m seeing and being forced to appreciate, teaching is tough. In terms of full-time jobs. So, I need create my own opportunities, more opportunities for students, anyone wanting to write more more decisions and confidence. This learn journal is not just a return to student life and mentality, but how to approach teaching as a career, differently. On inaugural step, with this newest of journals, share thoughts and write everyday, of course. But as well, read my focus authors and share analyses… write thoughts one punctuation and structure, my unwavering and angry stance on the semi-colon, and all like jots and momentary musings.

(5/2/18)