The Stan Lee Accusations Are Some Bullshit Even If You Believe The Women

For the better part of Tuesday, Stan Lee has been a trending topic on Twitter thanks to accusations in the Daily Mail that he sexually harassed the nurses caring for him at his Hollywood Hills home.

So let’s stop right there and take everything you just read at face value without getting into the journalistic integrity of the Daily Mail or staring into the toilet-abyss of social media, because a lot of places are missing the forest for the trees.

According to his accusers, a 95-year-old man who requires in-home care has “lost his filter” and acts inappropriately with his healthcare providers. Well, guess what? That probably happened. I believe the women. And you want to know why I believe the women? Because this happens every fucking day to people who work in elder care.

Unfortunately, social media users and commenters on places like io9 are ignoring that salient nugget and barreling straight towards writing off Stan Lee as just another sexual harasser without once considering the fact that the poor guy’s brain is dying at an accelerated rate. Had these been accusations from years ago that Stan the Man used to Charlie Rose his way around the Marvel offices, flinging web fluid at unsuspecting female employees, shit, I’d be right there with the Twitter mob. And for the record, I wouldn’t be surprised if we reach that point because Stan Lee has a penis, so exactly all of the prerequisites are in place.

But as it stands, the entire breadth of the accusations against him are that an elderly man in his 90s is propositioning nurses, which is exactly part of the job when you’re working in goddamn elder care regardless of gender.

Is it shitty that nurses have to deal with old dudes whipping out their old dicks? Absolutely. Is that what they get paid to deal with? Also absolutely. There’s a reason grandma or grandpa need around-the-clock care. Their brains are old as shit. And when a brain is old as shit (a.k.a. dying), it stops working like it used to and doesn’t care if the person it’s controlling was the most prim and proper sonofabitch to ever walk the earth. Welcome to the slow, grim butt-fuck called life.

All of that said, poor Stan Lee getting bounced around the social media wood-chipper shouldn’t be a referendum on the #MeToo or #TimesUp movement because my gender is long overdue for a reckoning. We predominantly suck. Every one of us. BUT it wouldn’t hurt to maybe read and apply a little context before automatically tossing a nonagenarian onto the trash heap of dudes because old age turns him into a goose monster during his sponge bath.

Excelsior!

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