Film Review: X-Men Apocalypse
Well, it’s that time again. Another X-Men movie has clung to a theater screen near you like a parasite. I’ve been distant from the X-Men movies pretty much since X-Men 3. This is a franchise that I could easily do without. Granted, I’m not an X-Men fan but I like movies and they can’t even do that right. I’ve been reading comics nearly all of my life. I grew up on half-torn issues of Captain America and managed to smear my grubby childish handprints over copies of Batman. My father believed that the best programming for a young, developing child was old reruns of the X-Men cartoon, Batman: The Animated Series, and Batman Beyond. I loved all of these shows and now have grown to love the movies. Captain America: The Winter Soldier is held up in high esteem for me as one of the best comic book movies of all time. While, X-Men I’ve always held in low regard. This is because the X-Men, for all intents and purposes, are the least dynamic team in the MU and most relevant to this review, the MCU. Every superhero team has different enemies that tackle grander, more complex themes than the battle between Good and Evil. Every couple of years some new threat will come along and rock every time to its core, shifting the perspective and mission of each organization. X-Men does not do this. The battle between Good and Evil, Man and Mutant, has always been the heated topic of discussion for the X-Men. And while that is and interesting topic to handle, and the allusion to Martin Luther King Jr and Malcom X in Xavier and Magneto respectively are well done… sometimes. The last installment in the X-Men cinematic franchise was Days of Future Past, a bundled, boring, pile of dumpster trash. It has managed to put me to sleep 3 times on 3 separate occasions. This movie only furthers my point. There are so many blatant issues with X-Men: Apocalypse, almost too many to count.
So, what I’ll do is I’ll tackle the one thing that really upset me. The effect of consequences, or in this films case, the lackthereof. One thing that the real MCU man gaged to create is a world that feels dynamic and that every action is felt throughout multiple film. Destruction and devastation results in serious punishments within the universe. This movie lacks serious emotional weight. The entire planet is essentially ripped apart and actually fucking destroyed resulting in the death of millions of innocent people at the hands of Magneto and there are no repruccsiona for him. He’s able to just walk away Scot free with no one question it. As much as I hated Batman V. Superman, you can admit that they tried to establish the total destruction of Metropolis. Now imagine that on a global scale with a result of tens of millions of people suddenly dead and no questions being asked. Even someone like Xavier is so incredibly wiling to give Magneto a pass on the actual atrocities he has committed.
This whole movie just feels so dull. I already didn’t care for the X-Men movies and now with each subsequent film my expectations manage to decrease below the 0% line of enjoyment, etching into loathing and hatred for the films. The film is good for pretty much one viewing. After today I will actively be looking to stay away from the franchise and particularly this film.
Some things were done really well, the Quicksilver running sequence is always a ton of fun and will probably never get old. Sansa Stark plays an exceptional Jean. Everyone else seems pretty meh. Jennifer Lawerence is essentially the Mockingjay in Mystique form. It’s so sad because it just screams corporate involvement to appease to particular fans.
Other than that I’d pretty much just try to avoid this thing. Your money can be put towards better things than this film. Please, don’t watch this movie. It’s a disgusting, sloppy, aborted dumpster baby that should be avoided at all costs.
Buyer beware.
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