Six #BroTips for a Badass Tinder Profile


Tinder changed the dating game forever. No longer do we hide behind the pretense of witty profiles or dating compatibility quizzes.

In the split-second dating world, one question is key: “Do I want to see this person naked?” Swipe right for yes, left for no.

You only get one shot, one opportunity to make a good impression. Here are some tips to make sure you don’t get swiped away.

TIP ONE: GO PRO

The quality of your profile pictures matters. Yes, your phone takes pretty awesome selfies. But a professional photographer has better equipment and more skills than you can glean from taking snapshots of your dinner.

So unless you want to be eating those dinners alone, hunched over the kitchen counter, smashing some barely-palatable leftovers into your face, you should invest in your success.

TIP TWO: THE ATHLETE

Surveys probably show that when offered the choice between an athletic person and a someone who breaks a sweat while tying their shoelaces, a potential mate would rather see the first one get naked.

Sure, maybe you haven’t played baseball since your coach stuck you on the bench back in 8th Grade. But throw a couple of props in the mix and bam, you’re an All Star. Get your game on. See my photo above if you don’t believe me.

TIP THREE: THE CELEBRITY

Everyone swipes right for celebrities. Photo by Jim Vondruska.

If the Kardashians taught us anything, it’s that people love looking at celebrities. So why not use that to your advantage? Do you kinda, sorta look like a famous person? Make the most of it. Do it for the nookie.

TIP FOUR: THE WORKING MAN

This look says: “I have a job. Here’s what it is.” Photo by Jim Vondruska

Proving you have some sort of stability in your life is almost as important as proving you’re not a psychopath. So showing yourself hard-at-work says, “hey, I have an income,” and is a bit classier than showing you tossing a bunch of hundreds in the air. Unless you can afford it, then like, wow.

TIP FIVE: THE ROCK STAR

This look says: “I’m a rock star.” Photo by Jim Vondruska

Do you play an instrument, even a little bit? Show off your creative side with a rock-and-roll action shot.

TIP SIX: SHOW SOME SKIN

This look says: “Testosterone.” Photo by Jim Vondruska

They may deny it, but everyone loves pictures showing off a rock-hard body.

“But Mike, I don’t have a single ab,” you may say. But why should that stop you? If shiny abs are really about showcasing some old-fashioned masculinity, why not go full Braveheart with it? What could be wrong with that?

BONUS TIP: DON’T BE A DICK

If you are lucky enough to start a conversation with someone, even on an online dating app, try to be a human being. K?

HAVE TIPS OF YOUR OWN?

Tweet ‘em to me: @miketewing.

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