Is Mayor Pete A Care Bear? An Investigation

Mike Toole
Feb 4 · 2 min read

I know it seems like a ridiculous question, and if someone asked me two days ago if Pete Buttigieg were a Care Bear, I’d say something to the effect of, “No, I don’t think so. Mayor Pete? Is he? I mean, maybe. I could see that.” But while scrolling the infinite hellscape that is Twitter this morning, this tweet caught my eye:

The quote starts “With hope in our hearts,” which sounds very Care Bears to me, but also sounds very run of the mill politician. But then the next line is a major clue: fire in our bellies.

How many adults do you know use the word “belly”? Maybe when they are talking about beer bellies or talking to a toddler about their bellies and tum-tums, but when is the last time you heard a functioning adult use the word “belly”?

You could make the argument that the line sounds like something that might be from Braveheart or Game of Thrones. Like, say “I’ve got a fire in my belly” with a Scottish accent. It’s fun to say. Go ahead, say it out loud. I’ll wait. Say it to your coworkers. “I’ve got a fire in my belly!” Now excuse yourself to go to the restroom.

Anyway, it makes me think that Mayor Pete has a belly badge, like the Care Bears have. Though I don’t think fire would be Pete’s belly badge. His belly badge would remind you of his military service and also speak 14 different languages. So maybe a tank ordering a Finnish version of Rosetta Stone.

He is also cute, cuddly, seemingly inoffensive, yet is being propped up by huge corporations, exactly like the Care Bears.

It is based on this, one could only arrive at the obvious conclusion that Mayor Pete Buttigieg is indeed a Care Bear.

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