Valentine’s Day and Plan B

So on Monday, my sister posted this photo to Facebook, which I then Tweeted.

You really only need to focus on the top row, with the condoms and the lube and the Plan B and the handcuffs. Pretty funny.

The day after I tweeted it, Jezebel posted it, and from there it went viral, as the kids in 2006 say. It ended up at Time and a few other places.

The comments were pretty entertaining and educational, especially if you’re looking to use metal handcuffs in your sexual adventures. Apparently that’s a big no no.

Anyway, the Internet being the Internet, several people pointed out that this looked “staged,” and accused me or my sister of doing so. To which I say to those people, OF COURSE it was staged. Do you think this was a missive from the corporate offices of CVS? No. This was clearly a funny employee or a customer with way too much time on their hands.

A few people on Twitter were INSISTENT this was a customer, including this guy, who describes himself as a “corporate cocksucker”:

Pretty sound logic there. I mean, I’ve put things on the wrong shelf before, too, but it’s usually like, “Oh, I don’t really need this can of garbanzo beans, so I’m going to leave it here with the candy.” Not, “Oh, I really don’t need all this lube and sex toys, so I’m going to set up an elaborate display on this shelf.”

(By the way, if you’re going to buy sex toys at CVS, get the CVS brand. Much cheaper and pretty much the same quality. #ProTip)

But it was not set up by my sister.

If you know my sister, the thought of her gathering up rubbers, lube, Plan B, handcuffs, Libido-Max and whatever else, clearing the entire top shelf, then carefully arranging it as a Valentine’s Day display, is hilarious. If anyone in my family was going to do this, it would have been me, drunk, in college 20 years ago (or maybe ten years ago, but no more recent than that. Okay, fine, eight years ago).

But my favorite people in all of this are the ones now giving grief to CVS, thinking that this is a company-wide display, and of course they are outraged.

#abortion pills

Anyway, the idea that anyone would think this was real is amusing for a number of reasons. But the best is that CVS would actively promote Plan B, which is an EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTIVE, a full month and a half before Valentine’s Day. I could see doing that for New Year’s Day or the day after St. Patrick’s Day, when several babies are conceived in Irish pub restrooms across the land, but not before. It just doesn’t add up.

In conclusion, my sister did not stage this and CVS does not promote Valentine’s abortions. Rite-Aid probably does, though. Those people have no morals.

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