PinnedMike TooleIt Has Been Twenty Years Since Fabio Killed A Goose With His Face On A Roller CoasterIt might be the most internet-ready thing to happen before the internet became the internetMar 29, 201957Mar 29, 201957
Mike TooleinSlackjawI Wore A Mask Everywhere (Except For Buffalo Wild Wings And A Few Other Places) And I Still Got…Well, it finally happened. This past week, I was diagnosed with COVID-19. Like many others have said, it is no joke and it needs to be…Dec 30, 202018Dec 30, 202018
Mike TooleBambi’s Mother Doesn’t Die In The First Ten MinutesI thought she did (and you probably did, too), which led to a very long 40 minutes.Aug 7, 2020Aug 7, 2020
Mike TooleDecision 2020: How Would The Democratic Candidates Do On The Price Is Right?The campaign for the democratic nomination is in full swing as we head towards Super Tuesday. As of today, seven candidates remain in the…Feb 18, 2020Feb 18, 2020
Mike TooleinSlackjawA Tour Of Your New Gym, Courtesy Of Me, An Old Man Whose Scrotum You Will See On A Regular BasisHello. Welcome to your new gym. It’s me, an old man whose scrotum is dangling just above my knees. You’re going to be seeing that a lot…Jan 15, 202016Jan 15, 202016
Mike TooleA Reading of Do They Know It’s Christmas, a Truly Awful SongTonight thank God that someone else is suffering, per BonoDec 5, 20193Dec 5, 20193
Mike TooleinSlackjawI Just Want A Candidate I Can Have A Beer With Or One That Will Help Me Bury This BodyI’m an undecided voter and I’m also in kind of a situation here.Nov 22, 20192Nov 22, 20192
Mike TooleMischief NightI grew up in New Jersey. Every year on October 30, I lived in perpetual fear. Would our house be egged? TP’d? Would they smash our…Oct 30, 20193Oct 30, 20193
Mike TooleLockdownAbout a month ago, my daughter excitedly told me that her class had a fire drill and a lockdown. I had to ask her to repeat what she said…Dec 15, 2017Dec 15, 2017
Mike TooleThe Women of the Round TableWhen I was a kid, our family hosted dozens of holidays and parties at our house. And when I say “our family,” I mean my mom. It blows my…Mar 9, 2017Mar 9, 2017
