Picture 2 circles drawn on the table. One says “Success.” The other says “Happiness.”

You get 10 pennies, representing units of effort to be applied against these goals. Your task is to divide the pennies between the two circles. Where will you put them?

It’s more than a thought experiment. I find myself reflecting on the question as I watch my kids pass through the sequence of schools in our town. We’ve always focused on their happiness, been careful to encourage but not push too hard toward achieving excellence in academics, athletics, service to others. The truth is they’re all doing well, all overcoming challenges and growing up as people I’m proud of.

But their names aren’t always read when awards are presented to mark the transition from one school to another. Mine was, a long time ago. Do I want them to be like me?

My name is Mike, and I’m an overachiever. Two Ivy League degrees. Division I athlete. NY Ad Man. Entrepreneur. I’ve been called intense more than once, and that intensity has propelled me to the heights of achievement. Right?

Will the stress of it all kill me by 50? Who can say. Am I happy? Mostly, I guess. But I’ve always had the nagging feeling that “personal happiness” was a goal for the selfish, or the shallow. Shouldn’t we measure ourselves agains a higher standard? Impact, perhaps? Significance, of some kind? To those whom much is given…

My Dad is a man I respect, and he tells me I need to take it easier. “You do everything with such intensity,” he says. “Even the drink you make to relax seems like a lot of work.” He’s right.

I want more for my kids. I want them to be happy. Less stressed out, even if that means being a little less… driven.

But is that really more? Or is it less? Look again at the circles on your desk.

Balance seems like a coward’s compromise. “Put 5 pennies in one, and 5 in the other.” Please. So you achieve neither, having divided your effort between both.

You could go all-in on Success, believing it leads to happiness. Self actualization is the top of Maslo’s hierarchy, right? After my family and friends, much of my day-to-day happiness comes from having realized my potential… having achieved things in the world, doing a job each day I find challenging and rewarding with people I respect and admire.

But if the goal is really Happiness, why not cut out the middle man? Why not focus directly on personal happiness, use it as a GPS to plot your course in the world?

The race is long, my friend. You can only sustain the effort if you’re happy along the way. Maybe that’s all Success really is.