Trump Supporters, Concerned About Their Patriotism, Buying Bigger Flags

SHELTON — Republicans have long enjoyed the presumption of a greater patriotism than their Democratic neighbors. This association has recently been put to the test by the Republican Congress’ borderline indifference to revelations about Trump administration ties to Russia, resulting in a significant uptick in sales of oversized American flags.

“I’ve always flown Old Glory proudly,” Lori Miller of Shelton, CT said, “but when I saw that the Republicans didn’t want to investigate Russian tampering in a US election, I thought I’d better up my game.”

Sales of US flags increased by almost 15% in the month of February, but sales of oversized flags have nearly doubled in just the last week amid revelations that the Trump campaign was in “constant communication” with Russian intelligence agents throughout the presidential campaign.

In New Canaan, CT, Jonathan Keeley’s new flag didn’t quite fit in his GL-Class SUV: “I thought to myself that if Hillary had refused to disclose her business interests, continually praised Vladimir Putin, mocked a prisoner of war, lost the popular vote, sided with the Russians against the American intelligence community, suggested a moral equivalence between Russia and America and retained a senior aide who she knew had attempted to undermine a sitting President’s foreign policy — well, I’d say it’s a slow start, but she’ll find her mojo. I just want to show President Trump the same support.”

When asked on CNN about this sudden display of outsized patriotism, Councelor to the President Kellyanne Conway suggested purchasing a limited edition silk Ivanka Trump American flag directly through Whitehouse.gov.

Michael Ventimiglia for the Weston Observer