Published inGlig·Jul 3, 2017It’s Their Party, They Can Split if They Want ToGlig Season 1 Finale (Part 2) — Chael took a lungful of the fresh prairie breeze blowing through the briar patch. “I really wish this thing still locked,” they said, admiring the heavy vault door. “Breep,” agreed Glig. Mahani shook her head. “The vault needs four undamaged godstones to be fully powered. Right now every bit of…Short Story5 min readShort Story5 min read
Published inGlig·Jul 3, 2017Mending FencesGlig Season 1 Finale (Part 1) — “I don’t understand her,” Mahani said. The three of them sat against the wall, staring at the floor, watching the shattered gem fragment twinkle in the dim newt-light, holding hardtack and leftover mutton and honeycomb, not eating it. “I mean,” she continued, “If Sal was a demonologist, then wouldn’t starting…Short Story5 min readShort Story5 min read
Published inGlig·Jun 13, 2017ShatteredGlig 15:1 — His home. A dome made of bricks. Deep red bricks, shattered to pieces. Glig stood in front of the dead portal. An ancient stone arch, surrounded by carefully carved glyphs, flickering weakly in the dark. A doorway back to his world. A portal to Hell. A portal to Heaven stood…Fiction5 min readFiction5 min read
Published inGlig·Jun 6, 2017If you’re going to be breakfast, at least bring some cutleryGlig 14:4 — Nothing like firmly gripping a giant slug’s throat bristles to make you appreciate the little things. The textures, the squelching. The assembly line of muscles effortlessly sucking you down screaming and clawing into your new, dimly-lit pinkish home. A warm, quiet pouch of caustic ooze. A place where someone could…Fiction5 min readFiction5 min read
Published inSermon Monsters·May 30, 2017Monsters in Mason JarsThe hardest thing about canning monsters is getting them in the jar. Monsters are usually bigger than the typical jar, and are often an entirely different shape. (If you are looking for a nice jar-shaped monster that responds well to canning, try a gelatinous cylinder, or even a set of…Cooking2 min readCooking2 min read
Published inSermon Monsters·May 24, 2017Armpit BugDo you want to love your body? — Folks, let me ask you a question. Do you love your body? Let me ask you again. Do you love your body? I’m not asking if you like your body, I’m not asking if you are fine with your body. But do you love it. You, whats your name? Rebecca…Body Image2 min readBody Image2 min read
Published inSermon Monsters·May 18, 2017Geese EyeBeing a kid is hard — “Oh my goodness what happened to you?” “It’s nothing, it’s nothing, don’t worry.” “Nothing! Come on! Look at you. I’ll get you some ice.” “I don’t need ice, mom.” “Well you’re getting some. And you’re going to tell me what happened.” “It was just horseplay.” “Like Heef it was just…Parenting2 min readParenting2 min read
May 16, 2017Crazed Hellspawnic Giant Acidic Dungeon SlugCrazed Hellspawnic Giant Acidic Dungeon Slug Huge aberration, chaotic evil Armor Class 14 (natural armor) Hit Points 90 (9d10 + 36) Speed 30 ft. STR 16 (+3) DEX 11 (+0) CON 19 (+4) INT 6 (-2) WIS 13 (+1) CHA 6 (-2) Saving Throws Con +7 Senses darkvision 120 ft., …Gaming2 min readGaming2 min read
Published inGlig·May 16, 2017The Fascinating World of Dungeon SlugsGlig 14:3 — Giant acidic dungeon slugs can be found in three distinct sub-species: the spotted yellow, the yellow-spotted, and the crazed hellspawnic. The docile and reclusive spotted yellow dungeon slug has yellow skin with green spots, 11 hitpoints, a non-lethal push attack, and survives mostly on ground water. The acidic mucus produced…Fiction4 min readFiction4 min read
Published inSermon Monsters·May 11, 2017LoveslugCheck out this monster’s dating profile lol — I guess I’m just a romantic at heart, because I’ve always felt the idea of internet dating to be, ya know, uninspiring. …Dating2 min readDating2 min read
