God’s Plan: A Message from Joel Osteen to the People of Houston

Pray!

Hi, I’m Joel Osteen, you may know me from my weekly Church-Themed Infomercial Series.

What you may not know about me is that I love the one true God. He’s the Best. My favorite thing about MY God is that it’s all up to Him. All of it. He makes the good, He makes the bad, He makes the rest, and there it is: the facts of life.

Even while He’s making all of everything, He’s never too busy for his believing children. He always hears my prayers and responds accordingly. That’s why all I need to do — all any of us need to do, really — is pray to Him.

When you look at a crisis, it’s all out of my hands. I can’t help. You can’t help. God CAN help. Take Hurricane Harvey for example, there’s no way your old pal Joely can do anything about this. So I just pray that God will provide a sanctuary where people can be safe. And not just safe, but secure and comfortable in this time of God’s decision to create suffering.

I know many of you think that a building like mine, a former NBA Arena disguised as a Church, could easily provide that type of refuge from the storm, but remember it is with God where we find our true refuge, our ultimate safe space.

Am I a God? Nooooo. God opens doors, He builds all these beautiful opportunities. All we can do is hold the mortgage for Him. And pray. Pray.

I can’t answer my own prayers. I can’t “play God”, not while He’s still at work. God must answer the prayers. We must wait for GOD Himself to answer us, to deliver us refuge, to deliver us from the destruction that is all a part of His plan. So everyone please send your thoughts and prayers to God so that He saves the day. Be patient. He is clearly up to something with all of this.

Think about it — if God wanted His children in Houston to be safe, would He have sent us this wonderful storm? How lucky are we to witness His wonder?!

What we, as humans, need to do now is find ways to get more people praying, that’s the only thing that will work. And that’s why I am writing you today. We need to create more doors for God to open. Holding church each week in the former Houston Rockets basketball facility is not enough.

We need a space that was used for ACTUAL Houston Rockets. Not the basketball players, the space exploration vehicles. Because, how else are we going to get our prayers up to God without the capacity to leave the planet? We must obtain the means to be closer to God Himself. And we need YOUR help. Donate now to GodLivesInSpace.com so we can start securing space-ready facilities and equipment. We need to get to space so that we may get to Him.

Now, please come together and join our worship band GOD’S CHORUS as they sing their almost-religious version of Pete Townshend’s classic “Let My God Open The Door”

When the rain keeps raining
And you have a big freaking church
When everybody keeps retreating
But you’re a Joely and not a God
Let my God open the door
Let my God open the door
Let my God open the door
To my church.

Amen.