Dear My Mind

How should i think ? Answer me my mind! I knock my head several times. I have to live here. I was born and raised in Jakarta. Equipped with well educated, well prepared both physical and mental in order one day i have to take care my Father, Mother, Sister, Grandfather, Grandmother, and my whole family. Slay lot of buffaloes, 20 million rupiah each. 1 funeral means 100 buffaloes. That is part of tradition and cultural, it is good but at the same time can be a boomerang. My Father is stone, strong will, never give up, but 100% Right, He must always right and know everything even if he is wrong. My Mother is a Pillow, soft and love me, acting like doesn’t know anything. Here are your foods, drink, clothes, shelter, money, passion, my love, my pray. Those packages are for you, one day i have to give same packages to my children. Meh! Child ? I blame myself and God if your entrusted child is given to me. Curse, curse, curse. What did am i think ? How is that possible to cross my mind ? I fight you every day. Help me.