(the image is from an ad in todays newspaper which did not prompt me to this text, just a happy coincidence)

WORDS / SÕNAD

I have a habit of thinking in either English or Estonian. I would like to choose between them, but I cannot. The look is different, they do not sound the same; and, I really want to emphasize this, the idea and the purpose of words FEELS completely different.

I would like to say I will try to bring parallel texts and try to open the same kind of ideas in both languages, but I can’t promise (a) that it is possible for me, purely from an experience point of view (b) I have the energy to go through everything twice.

The fact is that my own silence is becoming more and more violent for me and I have to break that.

I know I am not ready for this, but I feel the need to be ready. I also know that I will never get used to my voice if I will remain silent.

— -

Ma usun, et ma olen jõudmas järjest lähemale sellele hetkele, kus ma olen piisavalt julge, et usaldada iseenda valitud sõnade jõudmist võõraste silmade ja kõrvadeni. Ma olen alati olnud ebalev, kui ma pean arvestama sellega, et ma ei tea, kellega ma räägin, tihti valides sõnu vastavalt sellele, kes neid kuuleb või loeb.

Ma olen otsustanud, et minu jaoks on nüüd oluline, et ma suudaks enda ideed, mõtted, tähelepanekud valada sõnadesse eelkõige enda jaoks ja lasta nad lendu. Las nad siis leiavad ise õige koha ja viisi, kus ja kuidas maanduda.

M-M