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Jen was talking to two guys holding beers about how funny it was that people always seemed to just hang out with their friends at these things, they smiled. She made a joke about how it always felt pointless, going to these parties to talk to people who weren’t interested in talking but were interested in going to parties, they laughed. She laughed too, smiled and said they were probably missing that silence now that they had to talk to her. They laughed and denied it, she introduced herself and they introduced themselves and two attractive girls approached the guys and they smiled and she let the crowd swallow her whole because she knew that there was no point in pretending otherwise.

Jen looked for her friend with the bottle (Courtney) and when she found Courtney she drank more so she would feel less lonely or more comfortable in her loneliness or more comfortable feeling more lonely she wasn’t sure which. She spun around and looked at the people around her who were slightly blurrier than before and the more she spun the more the blur seemed to coalesce into a single colored mass. She knew she should probably stop spinning because while she didn’t care that much about everyone thinking she was crazy (she was drunk, she didn’t have a reason to care) she did figure it might be a bad idea to be very drunk and spin around a lot, for the obvious reasons.

Jen stopped and sat on the floor, Courtney leaned over and asked if she was okay. Jen thought about explaining the situation, about telling Courtney how all parties are uh- flaw- flawed and how just like, music is like? Like it’s just so people can get hornyh you know Courney? You know! And uh, and like, it’s all bullshit anyways because I don’- I don’t fit inh anywhere anyways so I don’t , I don’t get why we all pretend like — that this isn’t all bullshit anyways but I — I just want to find someone here but I know I won’t an- and it’s really just all bullshit, you know Courney? Probably you dont.

But that didn’t seem like it’d help anything so Jen stayed quiet and said she was fine, her legs were just a bit tired. Courtney (who was more adept at picking up signals than Jen gave her credit for) said that, honestly, everyone seemed tired of this place and if she could just find Craig & Tina they’d probably take off. Courtney left to find them and Jen sat on the ground and pretended she was invisible so she could listen to what everyone was saying and find out why she felt the way that she did. Unfortunately, she couldn’t hear much besides conversations about how, dude, you gotta check out this DJ Khaled snap story & fuck Kim Kardashian (I would bro!).

Courtney and Craig and Tina were there now so Jen (it was short for Jennifer) stood up and they got in Tina’s car and it was mostly a blur, they all agreed the party was just “okay” but definitely better than the party they went to last weekend and had anyone seen Terry? He was totally there and he looked completely different, nice one Terry! Jen liked her friends and wondered if she’d always feel how she felt right now or if she was just very drunk. In the backseat she swiped right on guys who probably had nothing interesting to say but would at least allow her to feel a bit more attractive. When she got home she passed out on the floor but almost made it to her bed.