The Strangest Arcade Game You’ve Never Heard Of
The Discovery
It’s Friday night. You and your roommate found a barcade within walking distance of your new apartment, and you both head down for some drinks, classic cabinet-style gaming and pinball machines to unwind after a long work week.
You walk in and order an 80s-themed cocktail while your roommate waits for your order to be finished. You slowly weave in and out of patrons and machines trying to find some fun random retro game to play.
A strange cabinet sticks out to you. An arcade game decorated in hotrod red and yellow, with a pixelated 80s popstar staring at you from a tube TV screen. And there it is. Lo and behold, Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker. With a cabinet like this, I knew one thing — I had to “Beat It.”
A Little History
Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker is a title associated with multiple games all based on the movie of the same name released a year before the games. The publisher U.S. Gold released computer versions of the game in 1989, while Sega developed beat ’em up versions for arcade cabinets and their home consoles, the Genesis and Master System.
Sega. You read that correctly. Sega. The same studio behind Sonic the Hedgehog.
Plot/Gameplay
The beat ’em up arcade version features the player playing as Michael Jackson himself, fighting enemies and rescuing children from the evil Mr. Big. Up to 3 players can play, and all the playable characters are Michael Jackson in various clothing choices.
Your primary weapon is magic powers that fire out of Jackson’s hands and a spinning dance move if an enemy gets too close. You can charge your magic power by holding down the attack button and then releasing it to increase the damage and range of his magic.
Jackson’s pet monkey, Bobo, randomly appears throughout each level, and if a player walks up to him, he transforms Michael into a taller Terminatoresque robot that fires lasers out of his hands instead of magic explosions.
Players will encounter children through the levels being guarded by goons, including but not limited to: robots, zombies, soldiers that closely resemble Cobra Commander from G.I. Joe, Italian mafia members, robots that look like Super Battle Droids, an enemy that looks like Dr. Eggman, shop vacuum cleaner robots, turrets, and ghosts.
By walking up to a child, you “rescue” them and award you with health or a special limited use powerup, and boy oh boy is the powerup amazing. A pixelated icon of Michael Jackson’s feet appears above your character’s health bar, and by activating it with the alternate fire button, he does one of three dance moves, pausing the whole screen and causing all enemies on screen to dance in time with him and dying in a magic explosion as soon as the dance number ends.
During level transitions, players are presented with comic book-stylized screens, depicting the story as it evolves, culminating in pixelated Michael Jackson doing his iconic “D’OW” grunt just before your stage starts.
The Ending
If you thought this game couldn’t get any weirder, you’d be wrong. After a standard boss fight at the end, Michael Jackson turns into a jet and flies off into the sunset. Players are presented with an epilogue that details how Mr. Big is “no longer a threat to mankind.”
And it gets better. The rest of the epilogue reads:
“But what of Michael?”
“All that is known is that he was last seen soaring away from the crumbling enemy stronghold, heading towards the distant horizon.”
Then it follows up with this:
If that wasn’t enough, you’re presented with two fantastic messages: “Game Concept & Design by Michael Jackson” and “Winners Don’t Use Drugs,” one of the most 80s things to possibly end an arcade game with.
Final Thoughts
This game doesn’t feel real to me. When I first discovered and played it with my roommate, I was in utter disbelief that a title like this could exist. Michael Jackson, beating up science fiction enemies through dance, rescuing children, turning into a robot and a jet, fighting the Italian mafia and Cobra Commanders (AND being produced by Sega, no less) felt like a fever dream meme game created by the Internet on a Twitch chat.
But there it was, sitting in a corner of a barcade, with patrons passing by to get to a Street Fighter cabinet or to the change machine for some extra quarters to plug into the nearby pinball machines, just waiting to be unearthed. It’s real, and here to stay. If you ever get a chance to play this game, I highly recommend it based on the concept alone. Head down to your local barcade with a couple of friends, buy a couple of drinks, and experience whatever this game is.
