Poem: About a F-Boi

I’m starting to hate

I know it doesn’t make sense because I am the definition of love and devotion. But here I am hating you….

For those pretty brown eyes that seep into my soul searching every nook for a vulnerable avenue that leaks the depths of my unexpressed emotions for you….

Those lips that seemingly kiss me so passionately but hide waves of truth untold hurt and feelings for another. That tell pretty half-truths with a silver tongue to keep that which I provide… convenient and on time… easy.

Something I thought I’d never be, but here I am… hating the voice whose inflection betrays my good senses and objections.. bypasses my panties and mere physical limitations. I cannot deny you….

And you know. Even if I wanted to, I’m way past gone and that you play on… producing false emotions. I say false because you’re not ready to be the man whose actions speak instead of empty collections of words.

I hate your expressions that lead to my involuntary changes in countenance. Giving away my position… just for you to dissipate into the refuge of your abyss.

I hate that I wonder if I’d be enough for you if you wanted to be kept. I hate that my ears lose the the immediate filter for bullshit and I give you more of a benefit than doubt when years have taught me better.

I hate that I’m a fool for you.

I hate that I don’t really hate you and I can’t just walk away like I need to. That’s why I hate.