Jio and Run

The act of asking someone out, and then canceling due to ‘better’ plans

Millennials these days, we are so afraid of missing out, so eager to appear cool on social media to incite envy from our peers and having so little time for everyone. I see a trend that is going on among my friends for so much time and today I finally feel angry enough to voice it out.

Jio and Run’ This is the term I use. In Singapore, jio means to ask someone out. Often, we use ‘bo jio’ to show displeasure (usually in a joking manner) that we weren’t being invited to something. So, jio and run (a term I made up myself) basically means the act of inviting someone to an event, and yet cancelling on them last minute. ‘Jio and Run’ usually happens because the person who jio-ed you has found someone/something more interesting/important than hanging out with you.

I have this particular friend who would often ask me and my group of friends to hang out, but never quite confirming the plans. He would say something like, ‘alright, let’s KIV the plan for this weekend. I will confirm with you the dates when it gets closer’. Sure enough, 80% of the time, he will cancel the plans, asking the rest of us to go ahead without him. It makes me frustrated because he is the one who made the plans in the first place.

I know we love to look cool and that we want to have some kind of activity going on a Saturday night. Hence, some people would ‘diversify’ the risk of not having one by asking different group of friends out and then picking the best one of out the ones who have confirmed that they can make it.

Well, I am sorry. I am not a backup plan. You asked me out and I agreed. I made time for you. I understand that you would like to ‘optimise’ your precious time by ensuring that you spend it wisely, with the best company. How about my time then? There goes another night of ruined plans. Should I be like you and ask other people out, in case you cancel on me again?

This is probably how the vicious cycle works. And it sucks. If ensuring your time is spent wisely at my expense, I am sorry, I think that this friendship is not going to work out. Good luck finding another friend like me, who will actually commit his or her time once agreeing to the meeting.