the apple
does not fall far from the tree
but I
am not an apple
and you
are not a tree

I am not an apple
or anything 
I am not shiny
or delicious
I am not 
to be consumed
I am not
a girl
I am not 
a lawyer
or a doctor
I am
of the things
you told me to be
and I am not
a part of you

You are not
a tree
you are not
on a hot day
you are shadows
in the darkest parts
of my childhood
you are not
a tree
because my favorite sound
is wind
through leaves
but your voice
makes me nervous
and every time
I answered our phone
and someone
said I sounded
like you
I got nauseous
you are 
an ache
in my stomach
you are 
lies and euphemisms
and shallow conversations
you are
unspoken understandings
about why
I only call on holidays

I am not
an apple
you are not
a tree
and I promise
I will grow
into anything
but you

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