Dude get that motorbike!
When you find yourself risking death *every day* just to not be late for work, you’ll probably learn that you either actually like your job, maybe just working at all, or will develop a better idea of what you’d rather be doing. Since it isn’t music, you didn’t mention practicing once, not even as a “shouldabeen.”
Assuming this is at least partially autobiographical and not just a Samsung ad…
Maybe your job is what you are actually supposed to be, and you should stop stressing about it! Moar status and moaar Stephanies is the carrot the world dangles in front of you to keep your slave legs tromping forward, dragging the Sisyphean brick of your identity issues and past behind you for its amusement. Give up on that. You’ll never be as cool as you would have been if only you had perfectly followed every step that would have led you to be the galactic astronaut emperor you dreamed of being as a wee lad.
Just pick something that pays the bills, and focus on the one part of it (there has to be something, even if it is just the paycheck) that you like, to death or excellence. Think not of other places whilst on the clock, give them your mind body and soul for each minute they pay you. Use that to develop a freedom from economic fear. Focus on the one thing in the rest of your life that you feel the same about (it will be the motorcycle probably…) and gradually shave out, adapt to, or conquer the remaining things you don’t.
You don’t need all the stuff they say you need. You don’t need the friends you want, the sex that will never satisfy, the expensive things you won’t be able to maintain, the children you obviously won’t actually enjoy having to deal with, and so on. The daily excitement that you *do* need to survive, to not self-destruct, to make life at all worth living, can only be had if you put yourself at risk for it. Motorcycle is the best way *I* know (surely there are others, like stand-up comedy) to do so without risking others excessively as well, by the way. You’re not likely to be killing anyone in a car by hitting it on a 300cc, and pedestrians are much more able to dodge you.
Fear not death, fear a life that feels as you describe. That is a REAL Hell that burns you NOW, not a hypothetical and equally-likely-as-not punishment for poor execution of your life’s good intentions that will be visited upon you in the hereafter.