Calling Out Fake Christians

While many will take this post as a diatribe against Christians, it really isn’t. It’s a plea to start calling out FAKE Christians. You know who I mean; people who wield their alleged Christianity like a blunt instrument, or those who invoke God in a political argument with the goal of shutting down debate, at least in their minds. I’m talking about the phony “Christians” who imagine that invoking religion means they have triggered some sort of fantasy First Amendment protection, which precludes any sort of criticism because, you know, “Jesus” can never be wrong.

That’s kind of the point. They think they’re either Jesus, or speaking for Jesus, or they’re God’s sole representative on Earth or God and Jesus speak to them alone. You see, you can’t argue with Jesus or God because they’re infallible. Of course, the only problem is, I’m not arguing with Jesus, I’m arguing with you, dear fake Christian. Note the difference. I’m not saying I wouldn’t argue with Jesus; I probably would, especially if he was trying to argue that his Dad is perfect. I mean, have you looked around? Nothing perfect in evidence, as far as I can see.

Especially when it comes to many of the people who invoke Jesus’ or God’s name; they’re about as imperfect as it gets. They have no concept of what the First Amendment means. They think it means they get to claim what Jesus said and no one is allowed to question that. I will defend to the death your right to have whatever beliefs you decide to have, but I am sure as shit going to criticize it if I want. The First Amendment protects your right to believe whatever nonsense you want, but it also protects my right to tell you that you are wrong. And God, are fake Christians wrong. The most offensive part of the audial bullshit that comes from right wing fake Christians is that most of the shit they claim is in the Bible simply is not anywhere to be found, especially based on the words of Christ. And here’s a clue; claiming you represent God and Jesus does not inoculate you from criticism. It actually opens you up to more criticism. No one escapes comment by claiming “it’s my religion.”

Seriously, if they think God supports them in their bigotry, is it too much to ask that they be accurate about what is actually in the Bible they rave about? I mean, if they can say anything and claim God is speaking through them, doesn’t that essentially mean anyone can say anything, cite God as a source, and get away with anything and everything? That sounds a lot like the Manson family back in the late 60s to me. I mean, they all claimed Charlie was Jesus, and really, how do we know he wasn’t? Right? Suicide bombers claim God speaks through them; should we just let them be? By the way, if you cite God as a source, how is that not “blasphemy”? I’m asking for a friend.

Also, they’re mostly wrong. I think we can all agree, that murder and theft are immoral and wrong, and should be punished after someone is tried and convicted, but other than that, fake Christiansare making it up. Their admonitions about sex are largely bizarre. While the Bible does seem to indicate that sex within marriage is preferred by God, there is actually no actual definition of marriage in the Bible. There is nothing in the entire book from either God or Jesus that defines marriage as between one man and one woman. In fact many of the heroes of the Bible had more than one wife and many had women on the side. Based solely on the Bible, the concept of marriage and the concept of sex only being allowed inside the confines of marriage are extremely muddy areas.

And it is okay if you believe nonsense. Religion is very personal, as is any interpretation of the Bible. There is no single, unimpeachable interpretation of the Bible available, which is why there are hundreds of Christian sects and why no two of them see the Bible exactly the same way. Religion is between you and whatever you believe in, and to have a fake Christian dictate to anyone how they should live based on his own bigoted interpretation of the Bible is sickening and insulting. Yet, many people describe themselves as “born again Christians” and they feel justified in telling everyone else they must believe exactly As they do. No variations, even if they’re wrong.

One thing I always wonder about these people is, have they ever read the Bible and, If they have read it, do they understand it? I ask because they don’t seem to understand very much of what’s actually in there. The most obvious example is their devotion to the very vague condemnation of homosexuality that appears in Leviticus. They fall back on that as if it is absolute law. At the same time, they ignore condemnations of activities like eating pork or shellfish, or wearing mixed fabrics, all of which are worthy of death. How galling is it to protest same-sex marriage and to demand that homosexuals be treated differently for being that, but to not protest Red Lobster or the local rib shack? I’m not saying they should, of course, I love shellfish and ribs. I’m just saying these fake Christians are hypocrites.

Here’s a question for you fake Christians. If being homosexual is a sin in and of itself, then why does God keep making them? Homosexuality is natural; the longer scientists study it, the more apparent that becomes. Every species of mammal has a homosexual component; are all of those animals committing sins, or are they just born that way? And the very concept that breaking one sin is the same as breaking all sins is absurd. If you steal a loaf of bread from the grocery store because you’re hungry, then you have also committed murder? If you are a homosexual, then you too have also committed murder and stole a loaf of bread. Anyway, the way Leviticus reads, being gay is not a sin. And unless you’re looking into their bedrooms and watching them, you’re condemning people based on an assumption, which is a judgment. Do you know what is a sin according to Jesus? Judging others and bearing false witness.

I could go on and on. Jesus Christ never mentioned abortion or homosexuality and he never condemned anyone for having sex with a member of the same sex or for having an abortion. He also chided his apostles for judging others. He sure as shit didn’t tell us to cut people off from their health insurance so that rich people could have lower taxes. I mean, if you’re claiming you’re a Christian and you’re cutting food and medical aid to the poor, you meet the definition of a fake Christian. Being a Christian is not about meeting your obligation to go to church every Sunday and to throw a couple dollars in the collection basket. It’s about living the way Jesus wanted you to. There are more than 7 billion people in the world right now, and 2–3 billion of them don’t have enough to eat. Billions more have no hope for a decent future, and yet most fake Christians seem more concerned about their tax bills than helping them. It seems to me, if you’re going to quote Jesus or claim Jesus as your source for your politics, you might try to be less of an asshole.

Why do we keep allowing people to cite the religion as a rationale for the most vile and disgusting hatred and bigotry in our society? We’ve allowed assholes like this to have power for 30 years, and we should all be sick of it. Don’t ever just accept what someone says about religion without checking it out first. It’s like anything else; if someone quotes Fox News, and Fox News is wrong, point out the inaccuracy. And when someone claims they’re quoting the Bible or representing Jesus, make sure what they say at least resembles what Jesus stood for. Stop allowing people to cut off debate by citing their alleged Christianity (or any other religion for that matter) as a source for their bigotry. If you don’t want to buy a Bible, fine. There are plenty of online Bible authorities out there; use them. The pleasure in finding these people to be wrong is a lot of fun. We have to stop them.

By the way, Jesus actually advocated for a separation of Church and State, in Matthew 22. Start with that one every time some right wing clown claims we’re a “Christian nation.” We can’t be, because that would violate Jesus’ teachings. (That section also has his thoughts on taxes, which go against modern GOP orthodoxy.)

It’s time we put these people in their place. Citing religion for your bigotry and hatred doesn’t mean we can’t criticize you. In fact, it makes us more likely to do so.

Originally published at PCTC Blog.