Milk sharing — an adoption story

Written by Jen Arnold

Bryan and I felt moved to adopt after a few years of trying for biological children. We met with a few agencies to no avail, but we knew that we had found “the one” when we met Molly, owner and social worker at Choice Network. We deeply connected with their focus on birth mothers before, during and long after the birth and adoption process.

Social Workers are often forgotten about in the adoption story, when baby and adoptive family have the spotlight. We looked forward to an open adoption in which we could get to know one another as friends and then family — and in the process, extend our family out in ways that we had never known.

I longed to give them the most nutritious option but didn’t know that we could have milk from another woman donated.

Flash-forward a year, and the twins we’d prayed for came to us. We adopted two baby boys from two different states within five weeks of one another! Once our boys were here, a pro-nursing and health conscious friend told me about donor breast milk. I longed to give them the most nutritious option but didn’t know that we could have milk from another woman donated. After talking with a few medical pros and a lactation consultant, we decided to see if it could be a possibility for the boys. Our son Isaiah had been in the NICU for the first four days of his life because he couldn’t keep down the dairy formula, so we had him on soy. We were especially hopeful he would be able to transition to breast milk instead.

Through the sacrificial milk gifts of several women, some who became regular donors, we were able to provide milk for both boys for a whole year! The women were friends of friends, close friends, friends from out of state (6 hours away, in which we enlisted a brigade to get the milk to us!) and friends just across town. The boys are now in excellent health, have had no complications, and have thrived on the breast milk.

It was not only a huge health boost for the boys, but a boost to our bank account as well!

We are so grateful to have been able to give them this option, one that as an adoptive mother means so much to me, as I couldn’t do it myself. The donors were so gracious to have given us the milk for free! It was not only a huge health boost for the boys, but a boost to our bank account as well! (Helpful to us, as we were paying for two adoptions at the time!)

We gave gift cards, wrote thank-you notes and always supplied storage bags, and that was more than any of the ladies had asked for. What an amazing, natural, healthy option for our sons. We are so thankful to have learned about donor milk!

**So much Milk!** An old friend from high school had pumped such an abundance, she brought us TWO full tubs of stored milk, which lasted a couple months! We were blown away by this generous donation.

**Jen and Bryan feeding the twins.** With two infants, we had to figure out “systems” to make feedings work for all of us! We’re organized people, so the boys were on the same feeding and sleeping schedule and thrived! They were sleeping through the night by 9 weeks (Malachi) and 12 weeks (Isaiah).

Story originally posted on mimijumi.com.

A Note From mimijumi

If you ever want to donate your milk to a bank or are looking to provide your own child with donated milk, there are several certified milk banks throughout the country. We’ve listed some of the better-known organizations on our original post. There may also be milk sharing community groups and support groups in your area that can assist you.

Have you ever been a part of the milk sharing process? Tell us your experience in the comments section.