Finding a Friend in Yourself
I think a lot of us make the mistake of thinking that we must have someone or a group of regular people to go out and do things with. Yes, it’s fun going out to random events or doing things on the weekend with your regulars. Yes, it’s even more validating to have people that you enjoy spending time with share those moments with you. What happens if your friends aren’t able to attend that cool street festival? Or how about that concert where an artist you love is playing and no one can clear time on their schedule? Even worse, what if your friends have since moved away and you’re stuck by yourself?
For me, it’s been the problem that since graduating, a good chunk of the crowd that I used to hang out with has since graduated. When you’re working full time, it’s hard to make friends. In college, it was so much easier because you’re surrounded by a lot of people who don’t have too much on their hands other than study, go to school, and maybe work a part time job, here or there. Then when you switch to being a desk jockey or whatever pays the bills after those 4 years, work suddenly becomes all there is and it’s almost too exhausting to meet new faces.
It’s much easier to go back to existing relationships we have than start any new ones since it truly can be exhausting trying to figure out whether or not you want to let someone new into your life. Going anywhere that is supposed to be a social experience can also be a bit harrowing, as it’s against social norms to be alone in these places. So, it can almost feel shameful that you aren’t with at least one other person enjoying yourself.
Besides caring what other people may think of being in solitude, we might honestly be afraid of just hanging out with ourselves. We shouldn’t expect company for everything we want to do, nor should we feel ashamed of actually enjoying ourselves in places where we want to be. It’s okay to stand at a table with a beer in your hand and enjoy the music being played. It’s also okay to think about the things you enjoy and and really be satisfied that you are there in the moment.
Find the things that truly make you happy and strike out on your own. If there is a hobby you have always wanted to try but were very unsure about it, then go do it and don’t wait for someone else’s company or approval to go out and do it. Begin practicing exuding the vibe that you don’t care what anyone else thinks about your solo appearance and radiate happiness. Find that friend in yourself that deserves to be paid attention to and don’t let anyone else take that enjoyment of being solitude away from you.
Being a friend to yourself is no easy task. Unfortunately for me, having to be a friend to myself was born out of necessity. I am still working on this and am getting better with just going out and doing things by myself. I am also not allowing myself to be wistful about what could, should, or would be if I had my group of friends all in the same place.
Don’t wait for the right moment to start, just do this the next time an event is going on and you really want to do something. Don’t let that friend in you down!