Preventing Pull of the Past
If you’ve ever had a transformative experience, or simply a raw and exhilarating experience, going back to reality can be jarring.
It’s a phenomenon my wife and I have witnessed following yoga teacher trainings and mindfulness trainings. Inside of a contained and well-aligned program participants begin to move things that haven’t historically moved in their lives — relationships with partners, interactions with work colleagues, negative and debilitating mindsets around money, etc.
Then…BOOM…the program, weekend or container closes, and the subconscious mind gets ready to mount its counter-insurgency.
If the self-sabotaging side of our subconscious had a voice, it might say, “You think you’ve changed, huh? Well…we’ll see how long that lasts” or , “you really thinks a tiger can change it’s stripes? I’ll show you. That way you’ll never threaten us like this again.”
The past is intoxicating. And, like any effective intoxicant, it keeps us numbed to our intuitive feeling.

Here’s the thing, though: It’s all an illusion. The past occurs as a thing or experience that we risk walking back into; yet, our post-tranformation experiences must be rooted in choice.
By choice, I mean something like a mantra, or a daily affirmation. Yet, this type of affirmation sources or causes an empowering context to live into.
Here are some concrete steps to practice living into:
- Listen For Old, Disempowering Language Patterns. Whether internal or verbalized, learn to catch yourself saying “this is hard,” or, “she’s a horrible listener,” or, “here we go again.” The counter-move is to find someone you know will listen to you as bigger than your complaint, and verbally re-word your context by saying, “this SEEMS __________,” or that “he/she/this/that OCCURS as _________________.” Choosing to speak with such specificity serves as a safety mechanism that guides your subconscious away from dogmatic, immovable conclusions about people and situations.
- Reiterate that Your “Occurring” Is NOT Truth. Once you’ve identified that your partner “SEEMS like a horrible listener”, you’d say, “…and I know that that’s not the truth.” This declaration emphatically generates the possibility of some alternate, radically more inspiring than your presently occurring reality.
- Look for What’s Missing As A Way of Being. What I mean by “missing” is that if you could BE a certain way inside your current experience (regardless of it having to change or alter) that left you feeling alive and inspired, what would that be? For simplicity sake, let’s stick with the partner who SEEMS like a horrible listener. If you could be patient, or be clear, or be open, regardless of them changing, would that leave you inspired? If the answer is YES, you’re onto something. If no, keep looking and listening for a way of being that’s currently not present that (if in place) really leave you moved to generate novel actions.
- Generate and State A New Mantra. Here’s a statement I choose to apply: “Who I am is the possibility of being ________________,” or, “I’m choosing to be ________________.” Then, the next time you engage with that experience, or relationship (that previously seemed challenging), arrive with this conscious declaration on your lips. In my experience, the fraudulent lies of the past cannot stand in the face of you continually tethering your declaration to committed actions.

Mindful Tip: Choosing new, empowering mantras that pulls for a radical future is exponentially easier in the presence of empowering friends. It may be uncomfortable (initially), but your journey drastically and positively shifts when you drop friends who constantly pull you back into past-based conversations, conclusions and positions.
I’ve always loved this witticism: “Yesterday’s transformation is today’s ego trip.” This playful warning reminds us that we’re evolving, not evolved, organisms. Another subtle notion I’ll add is that what got us where we are now likely has little or nothing to do with where we’re going. My great intention is that you use the mantra material above, and that it be a powerful access point to realizing your future and your untapped potential.
Much love,
Dan
