Absurdity: Combat Ready Babies
Commentary on idiocy.
(The following is an absurd piece of fiction. Opinions, likenesses, and general other stats or content are completely coincidence to anything that may or may not be happening in the world. And as I always say, Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.)
Thank you, thank you. Please take your seats.
*applause*
Please take your seats. Thank you, thank you.
*roaring applause*
I said stop fucking clapping and sit on your asses!
*silence settles across the chamber*
Before we begin, let’s take a moment to remember all of the people that helped us get to where we are today.
Jesus, are you here? Where’s Jesus everyone, I can’t seem to find him. Stand up, please. I guess he couldn’t make it today. But if he were here, he would want me to express his joy for distorting his words to fit our campaign which will allow us to make this nation great again, once more. We also need to thank our sponsors from Monsanto. If it wasn’t for them, farmers across this land would be able to plant whatever seeds they wanted. We can’t allow that, that’s too much like Socialism. Exxon are you here? Exxon? I guess they decided not to show up today. I don’t blame them though. Did you see the…
