The Whitehouse Has A Major Plumbing Issue: Too Many Assholes, Not Enough Shitters.
Most of us know the Whitehouse at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave is an aging building that each administration does its best to maintain and in some cases modernize with technology. However there is a dark and smelly issue bubbling up due to the current administration that needs to be addressed… and fast.
There are far too many Assholes… and not enough shitters to meet the needs of Trumpy and his handlers.
This is a real issue that can no longer be ignored. Shit is backing up at an alarming rate, so much so that literal shit is spewing from Donald Dump’s mouth. I would argue that his mouth could be considered the “Shithole” part of his body. Even his hands have been caught in the act of expelling fecal matter on Twitter. The shit is getting real everyone!
Recent allegations of how President Little Hands frivolously spends his time watching media coverage about himself (not relevant matters of the presidency) a.k.a. “fake news”, tweeting nonsensical retorts to pat himself on the back and drinking Costco palettes of Diet Coke are all nearly accurate. The part we are not opening the bathroom door on is the fact that Dumpy is now mostly homebound due to his uncontrollable bowels. Our intestinally weak Commander and Cheeks is nearly ass-locked to his porcelain palace.
Until now, we have only seen one side of this wooden nickel. This issue can no longer be ignored as the American septic tank is overflowing and our neighbors and allies are now getting shit foot from the raw sewage now showing up on their doorstep.
Inside the Whitehouse the bowl is really filling up and the ripple effect is in full crisis mode… “Code Red” if you will. Nearly every staff member is effected by this situation, and has been magnified by all the shit spew needed to mask the stench of our savior Trumplestiltskin. A chain reaction of “Brown Period” Jackson Pollock like horror scenes have kept “staff polishers” quite busy. However attempts to clean up the messes is liken to cleaning Jeffrey Dahmer’s fridge with a single paper towel… a fool’s errand. The most terrifying part to all this is that it seems that everyone is getting used to the smell. I fear if they don’t get the plumbing fixed to “drain the sewage” soon, we will be left with the smell for years to come.
*nervous chuckle*
I wish it was harder to make jokes about the current political situation, but alas it’s now the swamp we swim in. As much as I have hope and faith that this country will be able to move forward get back on the path to moving forward, and not “Great Again”. The process of evolution is to become better and to discard traits that hold us back from our true potential. Being humans, and to sustain humanity on this planet as long as we can. The likelihood of there being life on other planets is very possible, but unlikely that we will ever know (space is big). So let’s just appreciate the rare treasure that human life is and enjoy it, and protect it. Not let “man babies” with nuclear weapons threaten it.
Thanks for listening to my fecal ranting…
Also… WANTED: Free PS4 if anyone has one collecting dust and want’s to rid themselves of it. :D
