I will never stop trying. I will never stop watching as you leave. I will never stop losing my breath every time I see you looking back at me. And I will never stop holding your hand. I will never stop opening your door. I will never stop choosing you babe. I will never get used to you.

Safety Suit, “Never Stop” (Wedding Version)

The day I say yes to entering a lifelong partnership with someone is the day I can make this promise to him and know in the depths of my heart that he will stand by this promise to me.

I’ve spent the past couple of weeks thinking a lot about what a relationship means to me, what a partnership really looks like for me, and what I’m actually looking for. And while I don’t have all the answers just yet because I’m young and only starting this thought experiment, I’m beginning to recognize some themes that I keep returning to.

Honesty, empathy, effort — these three things are non-negotiable. I need to be able to trust in what you say and feel that I in turn can be honest with you. I need to know that you can see where I’m coming from, that you’re trying to walk in my shoes even if it’s just for a minute. And most importantly, I need to know that you’re constantly trying and investing time and energy into our partnership because I am doing the same. I cannot promise you a perfect being but I can promise you that I will try every day and learn from my mistakes and keep trying.

I don’t know when this day will come or if it ever will. Quite frankly right now this all feels so far away. But if/when it does, these words will be here for me to look back on and use.

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