Holy buckets! You summed up my dad right there. I only learned a year or two ago that he is a narcissist from reading an article online. After I read it, it made so much sense. But then the little voice in my head started saying “you’re talking bad about your dad. The one that raised you because your mom couldn’t be there”, and I would feel bad, and I would shove away the idea that he truly is a narcissist. But after reading this the other day I teared up because it summed up all those feelings I’ve been carrying for so long.
“Because you are a projection of them, and they are never WRONG, never WEAK, never in need of HELP”
“Because all you see is a child throwing tantrums, so you adult up”
“Because their version of love is conditional and fleeting”
and so much more. Just writing this now I’m feeling the feels, and that is difficult. But, I’ve learned to feel those feels without letting them control me. And, I’ve learned to recognize him for what he truly is, and that it’s not okay. That it is okay to put space between me and him, because I am worth more, and deserve to be happy. And, the last sentence that I hi-lighted.
Thank you so much for writing this. You have truly brought healing into my life, and for that I am grateful.