Gossip Girl 2021: Episode 1 Recap

Episode 1 is titled Just Another Girl on MTA, which is a fun callback to “Someone saw Serena getting off the train at Grand Central!” Gossip Girl 2.0 makes many references to its predecessor, including establishing that the characters, like Dan Humphrey and Nate Archibald, canonically exist in their version of Manhattan. The writers set up familiar conflicts with a fresh cast of characters, and hopefully guide them to different outcomes.

As a huge OG Gossip Girl fan, I’ve included some comparisons between that and the reboot, as well as a few of my general thoughts on the episode at the end of this post, and a roundup of notable looks.

Recap

Kate Keller rides the train into New York City where she is a teacher at Constance Billiard School, and All My Girls Like To Fight by Hope Tala playing in the background. She has the tired, jaded face of every Millennial who barely trudged through the pandemic, and carries the unfortunate burden of interacting with rich teenagers who don’t know any better. Her eyes glaze over Instagram Stories of Julien Calloway, a famous influencer and junior at Constance.

Let’s quickly compare it to the opening of the original Gossip Girl: Serena van der Woodsen returns to the Upper East Side, to the song Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John. The upbeat and iconic song reveals that Serena is carefully excited to be going back to the city that she had just run away from nearly a year earlier, and she craves opportunity and a chance to start fresh. Despite dreading the pressures of the Upper East Side, Serena nurses a tiny bit of hope that things will be better this time around.

The music here sets the mood for Gossip Girl 2.0, telling us it’s going to be much more somber and serious than the original series. Many of the viewers of the OG Gossip Girl (myself included) were in high school when the series came out, and now are watching as young professionals. But unlike what Monsters Inc. accomplished with Monsters University, Gossip Girl 2.0 is already proving to be much more depressing, given what we have lived through in the past year and what we have to look forward to.

In any case, we are briefly introduced to Julien, whose dad Davis Calloway is a Grammy-winning producer, and her friends, Monet de Haan and Luna La, both from wealthy families as well. I have to ask, Zión Moreno, the actress who plays Luna, is Mexican, but I don’t think La is a Mexican surname, and I think it could be a Vietnamese one.

Next we meet the Chuck Bass of GG 2.0, Max Wolfe, seen in his mansion with a number of servants and two dads, and the Nate Archibald, Otto “Obie” Bergmann IV, seen at a protest, which we can infer means that he cares about social issues. Good for him.

We see another couple, Audrey Hope and Aki Menzies, spending some quality time before school, but it’s not going very well because she apologizes for taking so long. Audrey is the Blair Waldorf of the group, (she has a self-obsessed, fashion designer mother).

Is it just me, or do these kids have an obscene amount of time before school? This always bothered me about OG Gossip Girl too — I seem to recall in high school waking up no more than an hour before school started, quickly brushing my teeth, and eating a piece of toast in the car before sprinting to make it to first period. How are these people going to entire events and hanging out with each other? Or does school on the Upper East Side start at 12pm?

Finally we meet Zoya Lott, who has the unfortunate role of being both the Dan and Jenny Humphrey of the group: an outsider, a freshman, and poor (well, as poor as Dan and Jenny were). She grabs a pair of shoes and stares at a photo of a woman — a photo we’ve also seen in Julien’s walk-in-closet/get-ready-room. So Zoya and Julien are sisters. Half-sisters who share a mom who gave birth to Julien, left her family to get with Zoya’s dad, Nick Lott, gave birth to Zoya, and then passed away.

I’m just going to say it now — Zoya’s dad has nothing on Rufus Humphrey. Does he have the same chip on his shoulder regarding rich people? Sure. Do they share a mutual love for breakfast? Maybe. But does he have the charm and charisma of a dad who you can root for? I’d lean towards no.

Apparently Zoya got into Constance on an arts scholarship because Constance has one of the best art programs in the country, and Zoya aims to go to Yale for Drama. Is that supposed to be ironic?

Time for school, where Monet and Luna are coordinating Julien’s social media posts. Kate bumps into Julien as she is entering the building and gets put down by Monet and Luna. It’s clear who holds the power now, but it’s not clear why.

In the teacher’s lounge, Kate and the other teachers discuss how the students have all the control over their grades. One teacher laments, “They can’t be controlled because we’ve ceased to matter. Who needs an education when you’re famous for putting on your makeup?” Then she explains that when she was as student at Constance over a decade ago, the students (like Serena, Blair, Nate, Chuck, and Dan), were “scared straight” by Gossip Girl, and for some reason this meant they cared about school?

Onto the next song, Super Rich Kids by Frank Ocean, which serves as the backdrop to the kids arriving at school. Clever, though I enjoy the original soundtrack much more.

Obie is Julien’s boyfriend, and she fusses over his frumpiness, (he looks fine). He won’t be able to be in her IG Story until he cleans up. When Zoya’s presence at the school is brought up, Julien cooly shuts down her friends’ negative comments. It’s clear she is the center of their diverse and unlikely friend group. Also: I love this shot.

Once the teachers do their research about Gossip Girl, they decide to revive her in order to reset the social hierarchy and take back power from the students. OK. They launch a Twitter account named Gossip Girl 2.0. This is not as ballsy of a move as it may initially seem. The magic about OG Gossip Girl was the mystery of what she was doing and why she was doing it. We didn’t need to know who she was to enjoy watching her torment our favorite characters. It didn’t matter that the final reveal contained some plot holes because the drama she caused was just too good.

I have to mention as well — the acting from the teachers is too comically serious. The characters ought to realize what they are doing is ridiculous, but the actors themselves are over-emoting.

The sisters meet in the bathroom (again, before class has even started!) and it turns out they know each other already! They have matching neck tattoos, and they’ve been planning for months to get Zoya and her dad to New York City. FWIW, Julien and Zoya reveal (to us) their middle names, Elizabeth and Jane, respectively, which I assume is a nod to Pride and Prejudice and the fact that they’re going to be close sisters. Julien has a plan to organically incorporate Zoya into her friend group by tricking her friends, which could be a subtle commentary on influencer strategies, and asks Zoya to stumble upon them at the Met steps.

The gang is gathered on the steps when Max announces that this week is Fashion Week, and Obie slips in that he is “stuffing envelopes” after school. I wonder if the writers are intentionally making him an oblivious member of the “guilty rich” or if we’re supposed to root for him because he cares about poor people. Either way, I’m not about him.

When Zoya makes an appearance, Julien compliments her shoes (which, by the way, were a gift from her) and scarf (which belonged to their mom), and asks Zoya to be in her Story. Julien styles the scarf on Zoya in a very Serena-and-Blair type of way, while Zoya introduces herself to Obie through an activist group pin he is wearing. When Serena styled the scarf on Blair, she was symbolically taking the upper hand in their relationship, but between Julien and Zoya, the latter has more power here because she is the one with their mother’s possession (Season 2 Episode 4).

In the ensuing conversation, we get the impression that Zoya and Obie are both Vanessa Abrams types. Obie’s parents are real estate developers, but Obie rebels by supporting the marginalized communities that his parents bulldoze. Zoya is excited about having a similar interest with Obie, and doesn’t mind (like Vanessa and Chuck) that Obie is fabulously wealthy because of gentrification. This minion has the right idea.

Julien invites Zoya to hang out with her crew that night at Dumbo Hall, a private members-only club (and slights SoHo House). There is a stark lack of social order here — Julien is the Queen Bee, so Monet, Luna, and Audrey reluctantly agree to allow Zoya to join, yet Zoya is not subject to the Little J treatment either.

The teachers ditch their Twitter account and setup an IG one instead, because Twitter is over. Kate posts as Gossip Girl and tags our main gang, Audrey, Aki, Monet, Luna, and Max (who promptly blocks GG), addressing them directly and telling them to watch out for her. Ugh this episode is so dark — I can barely see anything.

On the way to Dumbo Hall, Obie and Zoya happen to take the same elevator up. Obie eyes her up and down in the outfit Julien bought her earlier that day, and says, “You look like Julien.” Zoya replies, “Is that a compliment?” Awkward. By the way, he brought her a pin from his social justice group (Right to the City Alliance). *Side eyes emoji.

Audrey makes a great point about why Julien should be suspicious of Zoya. Because Julien didn’t disclose their two years of secretly DM-ing, Audrey thinks Zoya stalked Julien to Manhattan with an agenda of stealing her fame, and also everyone is aware of the entire backstory between Nick and Davis (Zoya’s and Julien’s dads). Julien’s friends have her back, but the tone of this scene makes them come off as snobby.

The writers chose to shoehorn in the backstory of the parents by having the kids talk about it, but the way OG Gossip Girl showed us the rivalry, the sexual tension, and the awkward reveals vastly outstrips this exposition. Boring.

Julien, Monet, and Luna initiate Zoya as a member of their group by giving her a rundown of the unspoken social rules, including how to use social media: IG for stories, Signal for sexts, WhatsApp for abroad, and Messages to chat. Good to know Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and Youtube are no longer relevant among the youths. Zoya refuses to be assimilated though — she piques Obie’s interest when she says that private school teachers make next to nothing. Julien quips that Ms. Keller (Kate) would be much happier at Madewell than at Constance (lol), but that only helps Obie and Zoya connect even more over their appreciation of Ms. Keller.

By the way, when Julien speaks to Zoya, the camera moves from Julien to Obie (from Zoya’s perspective), suggesting that Zoya is interested in Obie, at least subconsciously. But we’ve gotten enough hints already that something is going to happen with them.

Julien chooses to ignore this and adds Zoya to their group chat. Audrey, Monet, and Luna are rightfully upset that she didn’t consult with them first.

Max taunts Audrey for being “married and monogamous at 16” in a sizzling impression of Chuck and Blair. She resists him and pulls Aki to a curtained side area in the meantime, stealing glances at Max across the room while Aki goes down on her. Aki pretends not to notice who she’s looking at.

Gossip Girl pings their phones again with another post. This time, she reveals that Julien and Zoya cheated to give Zoya the arts scholarship, because Julien’s dad, Davis, is the sponsor. Zoya is horrified to discover that she may not have won the scholarship based on merit, but Julien denies it. Unfortunately, their discussion reveals to the rest of the group that Julien and Zoya know each other, leading them to be rightfully upset at the deception.

Zoya asks Julien who would reveal this information, and she jumps a little too quickly to the conclusion that students who work in the school office must’ve leaked it. What? But in the world of GG 2.0, it’s students vs. teachers, not top-tier elite students vs. low-tier Brooklynites, so why not suspect the teachers?

It’s all too much for Obie, who stands up to go, but not before Julien asks him to be in her IG Story. Before leaving, he tells her, “You could’ve told me.” Heartbreaking. Then Zoya decides that she will leave too.

There is a downpour outside, and for some reason, the two of them decide to walk and get absolutely soaked. Luckily, Obie lives just around the corner in a massive mansion where they can dry off, but unluckily, his mom will kill him if he gets the floor wet, so he suggests they turn their backs to each other and take their clothes off. WTF?! I want to give her the benefit of the doubt but look at her face! She knows he is her sister’s boyfriend, and she’s enjoying this too much.

One of the Gossip Girl teachers just happens to see it outside and snaps a few pictures. Gross!

Obie shares with Zoya (in a very Dan-like manner) that he feels like he’s an actor who plays Julien’s boyfriend in “her world, not ours.” He and Julien’s relationship problems mirror Dan and Serena’s but they contain none of the emotional impact. We as the audience are being told what’s happening at the end of a relationship, not finding out through cute moments in the beginning. Another thing: Obie feels distant from Julien because they used to like the same things and now she likes being an IG influencer. He seems to forget that relationships are a two-way street, and that he isn’t exactly supportive of her current interests either.

Zoya arrives home to find that the mean girls (Monet and Luna) have left the group chat, even as she was typing out an apology. Harsh!

Uh-oh, Kate posted the photo of Zoya and Obie undressing on Gossip Girl, and Zoya wakes up to a barrage of missed calls and texts from Julien. Julien is cool about the whole situation though and says she doesn’t even believe it. By the way: Zoya wakes up at 6:45am, which explains it. My high school started at 7am, but hers must not start until at least 8 or 9. Still, I’d just wake up later if I were her.

When Julien arrives at school, a classmate says behind her back, “First she stole her mom, then she stole her man.” Ouch. Even worse — there’s a hashtag for this new forbidden relationship already and it’s kind of cute, #Zobie. It’s not easy being Queen.

Zoya is super apologetic after school, though not groveling enough for being embroiled in a scandal with her sister’s boyfriend. Julien did some research on Gossip Girl’s old blog and decides to take a page out of the Blair and Serena playbook. Apparently, Julien is starring in a fashion show, and the plan is that she and her minions will totally humiliate Zoya, who will pretend to have a meltdown in front of everyone, so that Julien can get her social capital back. Julien DMs Gossip Girl to let her know something will go down. Uhh…OK.

The B-Plot, which luckily is much more compelling, resumes with Audrey, Aki, and Max at Max’s house getting ready for the fashion show. Audrey continues to be suspicious about Zoya’s intentions and then notices Aki and Max change in front of each other. She and Aki are both mesmerized by Max, who subtly drinks in the attention.

We see far more of Julien than of Zoya in this episode, and before the show Monet and Luna give her another talking to about letting Zoya into their circle. Julien assures them that Zoya is not a social climber and is not using her. The way she talks to her minions doesn’t line up with how she treated Zoya in the Lyft earlier, which could suggest that even Julien doesn’t know how she feels about the gossip. Once the minions mention that Julien is losing followers, she finally gives the OK for them to sabotage Zoya beyond the plan.

After a classic “Oops I bumped into you” to steal Zoya’s phone, Monet and Luna convince Max to take a dick pic with it. Monet astutely says, “Just like you don’t need someone’s password to take a photo, you don’t need one to share it.” Tim Apple, are you watching?

The fashion show begins and it is totally awesome. The looks are very creative and couture. As Julien walks down the runway, Monet shares Max’s dick pic using Zoya’s phone. Then she calls security to escort Zoya out.

Just as Julien clicks open a lighter and sets the stage alight (as part of the show), Zoya glares at her while getting kicked out. Big of her not to give her sister the benefit of the doubt when Julien extended her the courtesy just that same morning.

Obie doesn’t either, and he glowers at Julien before leaving. Zoya confronts Julien after the show and asks why she just stood there and didn’t do anything. Does she not understand how a fashion show works? Julien couldn’t do anything even if she knew what was going on, and it’s not like she even knew what was happening. This is a misunderstanding that is not worth suspending disbelief for.

Side note: Again the acting here from Zoya is not very good. She goes from under-emoting to over-emoting too much in this episode. Not a big deal — part of what makes high school dramas compelling is the raw earnestness and lack of self-awareness, but the plot itself is too unbelievable to balance it out.

Zoya says that she wanted to connect with Julien over their dead mom, but slams her for only caring about her social media presence. Julien retorts that Zoya has no idea how she got to be so influential after overcoming her mother abandoning her and her father turning to alcoholism. She speaks some truth here: Julien and her dad were left intentionally.

The camerawork is also very intentional. The height difference between Julien and Zoya is exaggerated in these closeups. The camera shows Julien’s dominating power by shooting her from below, and yet the light is on Zoya’s face, telling us whose side we’re supposed to be on. Julien is very beautiful, but the lighting makes her makeup look menacing.

“It takes a lot of work to become something…and I can’t have that taken away from me.”

Julien says this to Zoya, reminiscent of a Blair and Serena scene (also in Season 1 Episode 1):

S: I saw you at school with Kati and Is and I get it. I don’t want to take any of that away from you.

B: Because it’s just yours to take if you want it.

Blair defends herself and points out Serena’s assumption about having power to take away from Blair. Tough they are both insecure about their positions as Queen, Julien says her defense with desperation, acknowledging indirectly that she considers Zoya a threat.

Zoya says that she wishes she never came. Julien agrees but says that now that she’s here, she has two options: “You can learn me, or you can leave.” Zoya: “I’ve learned enough. But I’m not leaving either. There’s room for more than just you to matter.”

Julien ends their showdown with one last accusation: “People like you don’t win. They steal.” She gets into the waiting car, where Obie accuses her of being behind the dick pic, though Julien denies it. He chooses not to believe her and says they’re over.

Rufus — I mean Nick — finds out on the internet about how Zoya snuck out to go to the fashion show and about Julien giving Zoya the scholarship fraudulently. He suggests that she might not have earned the scholarship, which does ask an interesting question of whether Zoya getting it due to nepotism really matters in the world of the UES, like Nate’s dad getting him into Dartmouth, or Nate’s grandfather of getting him into Columbia.

In a quick segment, we see Audrey and Aki in bed together, and Audrey apologizes again for taking too long. Aki says, “You know you can think about him, right?” revealing that he knows that she is interested in Max.

Zoya shows up to school the next day in a hipster-style outfit and wearing her hair naturally, thereby rejecting Julien’s group’s rules. Obie catches up to her, and Zoya asks if she can go with him to the social justice group after school. He happily says yes, but this is all seen by Julien, who is mortified.

It’s not quite as hurtful as Dan asking out Amanda (that girl Chuck hired to manipulate Serena into stealing Queen from Blair) on the first day of school, but it’s probably even less classy (Season 2 Episode 4). By the way, are these scenes “easter eggs” or cheap rip-offs?

Running away, Julien bumps into Kate, then accepts full blame for spilling her coffee aand compliments her blazer, surprising Kate. The teachers sit in the lounge and watch the tips roll into to Gossip Girl’s DMs. XOXO.

My thoughts about the episode

My favorite characters so far are Max (the Chuck Bass of GG 2.0) and Audrey (the Blair Waldorf). Max and Audrey deliver the same level of sexual tension with a fresh new twist (and Aki!) without compromising any glaring morals. Max in particular is carefully written not to cross the line (yet), and Audrey’s character continues to explore the wants-what-she-can’t-have theme with a new spin. I wish we saw much more of this throuple than of Zoya-Julien-Obie.

I hate what the show is doing with Julien, Zoya, and Obie. First of all, Zoya is a freshman (14) and Obie is a junior (16), so the fact that he is asking her to undress in his house and making plans to hang out the day after breaking up with Julien is super creepy. All of this happens within the first few days of school. This is eerily similar to Jenny and Chuck at the Kiss on the Lips Party, but somehow Obie comes out of it squeaky clean and even gets to look down on Julien from his pedestal at the end of the episode. What?!

One meta-level comment: the episode is too long and the pacing is too inconsistent. OG Gossip Girl episodes were around 40 minutes long and took into account commercial breaks. This meant the drama needed to be focused in little 5–10 minute batches that either set up a mini-cliffhanger or resolved one. Each segment started with an establishing shot, which gave the viewer a nice little palate cleanser. The music, one of the things OG Gossip Girl is best known for, complemented the pacing beautifully. Gossip Girl 2.0’s pacing is haphazard at best, and the extra 20 minutes meant entire arcs were setup and resolved in the same episode, and other arcs took too long to hold my interest. Yeah, it’s HBO and not the CW, so hour long episodes are almost a given, but Game of Thrones avoided this problem by giving us chapters within each episode at various locations, and Big Little Lies did it by splicing in flashbacks to keep us on the edge of our couches. Hopefully GG 2.0 figures out its pacing soon.

A risky move that I don’t think worked very well was revealing who is behind Gossip Girl in the first episode. The writers of the show have a much more difficult job cut out for them. They’re stuck for now with this incredulous teachers-win-back-power storyline, which also happens to be super creepy. Dan’s obsession with Serena could be explained away with a teenage crush and a desire to climb the social ladder, but Kate’s obsession with Julien and Zoya? Yikes. What’s more, the writers need to keep the story consistent, while in the OG series, GG’s motivations often didn’t line up with Dan’s, but it didn’t matter because at the time we didn’t know (and they didn’t know either).

Another glaring issue is that OG Gossip Girl operated under the premise that GG is relevant and has a network of sources. One line about Serena on a school field trip explained away why everyone cared about what GG had to say. GG 2.0 however starts as a new account, and unfortunately her rise to relevancy is way too implausible. Julien, no matter how influential, is only one person, and in today’s social media, groups matter — like the Kardashian-Jenners and TikTok Houses. Gossip Girl wouldn’t takeoff unless the others (Obie, Max, Audrey, etc.) are relevant too. And AFAICT they’re just not. I don’t see why nearly 10,000 people would follow a brand new IG account that only peddles unconfirmed gossip about one influencer. Deuxmoi has 1M followers, but only because they post about literally every celebrity under the sun.

Is there too much of a technology focus? On one hand, social media dominates a huge part of the lives of young adults, and I love the social dynamics involved in who is included in which group chat, but on the other hand, it feels like the writers (who are all old people, by the way) are doing their best (and barely passable) imitation of young people. We lose the focus on school in GG 2.0. Blair, Serena, Dan, and Nate all care about the SATs, for instance, and it becomes a source of tension with Dan and Serena, and Blair, Nate, and Vanessa. It’s fun to watch this conflict break out because SATs and college apps are something none of them have control over. It’s organic high school drama. One of the main charms of OG GG was Blair and Serena competing for Yale, and Dan and Nate’s struggles to leave their identities behind in the wake of college apps. GG 2.0 shoots itself in the foot by tossing this out.

Nevertheless, I’m excited to watch the rest of the series. One thing Gossip Girl was known for was everyone being in a relationship with everyone else. We got all sorts of pairings that satisfied everyone’s OTP, (haven’t used that acronym in awhile). I’d like to find out what couplings we’re going to get this time around. If you can’t tell already, I don’t like Zobie, but I’m hopeful because OG GG taught me that nothing lasts.

The fashion

So far, Gossip Girl 2.0 has not done nearly as good of a job as its predecessor at showcasing looks. I loved judging each outfit Serena, Blair, and Lily put together, and I had fun pausing and rewinding to catch elusive glimpses of high fashion handbags and accessories. (Was I the only one obsessed with Lily’s Birkins? She was so elegant.)

In Episode 1, only one look stood out to me: Julien’s runway dress. Her walk and expression were so powerful, and she drips charisma in everything she does. The little movements in her neck radiate her influence, and I can’t keep my eyes off of her in every scene that she is in. Most of all this one.

These are the shoes that Julien gifts Zoya and uses as an excuse to initiate her into the friend group. They are the Ivy Park x adidas Superstar Platform, designed by Beyonce, and only available from resellers. I know young folks love Adidas Superstars, but these looks like moon shoes to me.

I think the Louis Vuitton bag that Julien accessorizes with in her first day IG Story is a Capucines, and it can be yours for only $5,350 plus tax. It’s an elegant bag, but the last time I remember it being a trendy piece was 2018 on Emma Stone.

Julien has great taste in jewelry, and her mom in scarves, but she might like a manicure.

It’s cute that Zoya and Obie are almost matching, but neither of these outfits are flattering, in my opinion. It’s better than what Julien, Audrey, and Aki are wearing (and the rest). Not ugly but not interesting either. At least the sweater Obie lends Zoya when they’re waiting for their clothes to dry looks cute and cozy, but alas the lighting! Too dark!

Luna’s look reminds me of Taylor Swift at the Grammys in 2016, but Monet’s outfit is just bad. They both uphold the minion standard of wearing slightly tacky outfits. Neither are well fitted either, and I know Monet’s look is supposed to be boxy. It just totally robs her of any figure.

Besides that, Zoya’s outfit at the fashion show reminds me of Vanessa’s ugly dress at Lily and Bart’s wedding that Jenny designed (Season 1 Episode 18). Unfortunately this show doesn’t do as good of a job at showcasing the fashion, so this is the best screen-grab I can do.

About me

I’ve never recapped anything before, but I’m an avid consumer of great recaps. I watched Gossip Girl as it came out on TV and have binged it countless times since. Though it had its ups and downs, Gossip Girl was and still is one of the best series to ever air. It perfectly captured what I wish high school and young adulthood were like, and I’m trying to temper my expectations for the reboot.

In the daytime, I’m a software engineer, so I’d love any constructive feedback on my writing as well. Please feel free to leave me your thoughts on the first episode, and I hope to see you on the next recap!