A few months ago (January 22nd, 2014), I made the following post on Facebook:

There’s a problem with the reactions I sometimes get when I say I would never partake in interracial.

“wow you bigot don’t you know love has no bounds wow asshole you racist—-”

NO.

That’s exactly like saying people who don’t partake in homosexuality are homophobic.

There is a major difference between supporting other people’s decisions and having your own personal values.

“But Tim, what if you fell in love with a white girl?”

If I did, cool. But my sexual desire for white girls is comparable to my sexual desire for big, sexy black men. I can understand the appeal, but I don’t feel it myself.

Acceptance doesn’t require that you’re a part of it, guiz.

The comments I received were mostly positive and supportive, though there were a few detractors. And that was to be expected. I mean, it does sound inherently racist when I say I am not attracted to non-Asian females. But really, a lot of factors (social, cultural, personal) make it so I would be more likely to fall in love with Asian girls than, say, white girls.

Sample comments for your viewing pleasure. It will give you the full experience.

From my old middle school class clown friend:

TIL Tim would fuck Terry Crews at the same time as Megan Fox

From the admin of the Katawa Shoujo Facebook fan page (who I had friended at the time):

Honestly, I’m black but I don’t really look like it. My first gf, Ashleigh, was Caucasian and German and my older sister always had an issue with us. Now, the woman I’m in love with now is Caucasian as well and my sister, once again, has an issue with it saying that black men should only date black women. I don’t believe that. I believe love has no boundaries BUT each person is allowed to prefer what they prefer and honestly, I would never date a black woman. It’s not that I hate my own race but the fact that I find white women and Asian women more appealing to my personal tastes. Not even sure if this made sense or not.

Of course, some judgement:

That’s such a weird opinion…

Have some more:

whao…that’s harsh

Katawa Shoujo fanpage admin and one of my other more opinionated but well-informed friends came to the rescue with their viewpoints:

How? It’s not like he’s saying that he would never fall in love with someone outside his own race. He’s just saying that he prefers girls of his own race but if he came across the perfect woman for him and she just happened to be white, he’d be fine with that. I don’t see what the issue is. It’s not like he’s saying “lol my race is superior and all other races are trash” or something along those lines.

And…

It’s not weird. I don’t want to stick my dick in everything that moves. In fact, I prefer it to only be my wife. Public opinion generally frowns on this- but whatever, Fuck them. You do what you want Tim.

I myself, on the otherhand have expressed many reasons why I do not like Asian women. It’s sort of near the bottom of my list. Of course, there are a few individuals who may pique my interest by virtue of mutual interest and moral standards- but as a rough rule of thumb, traditionally, I have only ever hit on more exotic fair.

The fact is, people usually marries people like themselves. If Tim wanted to have serous committed relationship with someone, that someone would most likely be of the same race, social class, background and share many interests and common points. Since my childhood was nothing at all even remotely close to the traditional Asian one, I find myself having very little in common with Asians in general. See how that works?

Very refreshing discussion on a touchy subject.

The funny part about this post, though, is that it was inspired by a heated conversation I had with one of my white female friends.

I am now dating this friend.

I had actually completely forgotten this post ever existed. One of my friends suddenly thought back to it and necro’d it (brought it back from the dead, figuratively) so that I could savour the incredible irony.

It is quite humorous that someone who was admittedly adamantly opposed to interracial relationships for himself ended up in one.

The reason I am writing about this, other than to share some of this amazing irony with people on the Internet, is to showcase an example of eating your own public, published words.

I wrote this post in January. At that time, I was not too terribly close to my (now-)girlfriend. My social group was mostly Asian. I had a mad crush on an Asian girl in the grade above mine for all of Grade 10 and 11. I basically spent every calculus and English class I shared with her (got extra credit just to be in her classes!) admiring her aesthetic beauty, soaking in the singsong quality of her voice, imagining the things I wanted to do with her —

Ah, um. I digress.

I made that post in a time where it made contextual sense. I only felt emotional attachment to Asian girls up to that point. The post on my Facebook timeline is merely a snapshot of the Tim of January 22nd, 2014.

But the Tim of Christmas Eve 2014 is much different than the Tim of almost one whole year ago.

This is one of the drawbacks of writing opinion pieces on the Internet. Though it makes people think and makes your friends’ News Feeds a bit more interesting when there is a slightly controversial but intriguing topic to discuss, you might end up being the person who changes your mind, and when that happens you just have to accept and embrace the ridicule. Like, c’mon. Mr. Anti-Interracial is dating outside his race. Hahah.

But this will not stop me from being vocal. In fact, it encourages to be even more vocal in the future.

Not only because my girlfriend and I are mostly together because we enjoy these kinds of discussions so much. The fact that I made a post that I later contradicted makes me appreciate the power of writing even more.

Everything you publish online becomes immortalized. You essentially took a picture of your own state of mind and threw it on a medium where everyone can read it and either vocally respond or silently judge you. What bravery.

I can still get where the Tim of January 2014 is coming from. In fact, I still agree with his comments on the post responding to various questions. Here’s a sample:

[Responding to comment about how it is normal for people to be attracted to individuals similar to themselves] It’s not even just the idea of marrying someone similar to me. It’s that there is no way to preserve my values other than to marry within my race.

Living in Canada, the dominant culture, no matter what people say about multiculturalism, is the one belonging to the predominantly white population. If I were to marry someone of that culture, my own would be assimilated into it.

People will say that “integration is the solution to this” or that there can just be a compromise. But no, it doesn’t work. Cultures don’t meet in the middle.

Also, I can’t imagine the pressure on my kids for simply even BEING half-Asian, half white. Asians are honestly not the most liked group in Canada. Even if that wasn’t the case, the fact that my kids have Asian blood just makes them different. Which is a barrier I had to cross, and my kids will NO MATTER WHAT have to cross it, because they have Asian blood.

But now, what if I brought these kids back to China? They would be outliars there too. Now the fact that they’re half-white becomes relevant. Even within Chinese groups in Canada, they would probably be judged.

Basically, feeling rejected by one group until you overcome barriers is already shitty. Imagine overcoming two.

Kudos to every person of multiple races who has had to deal with those barriers. I wouldn’t be able to do it, and I don’t have the heart to let my kids do it.

This isn’t a jab to people with preferences for races outside of their own race, though. It’s a conscious decision and I am sure these thoughts have come to you. It’s just that I myself am already finding instability in my preservation of culture, so I need to try to uphold it in any way possible. bleh.

And another:

There’s actually a lot of concepts about child-rearing, education at home, etc that clash between China and the West. There are many things I was exposed to which people who were white would find absurd, and I am sure there are many things I HAVEN’T been exposed to that white people find absurd. Also, Chinese values are a lot more family/culture oriented, while “white” values preach sort of the concepts of global benefit and societal value.

[Responding to a comment which questioned the stigma against mixed race Asians and mentioned that most half-Asians around these parts are attractive] I have also yet to find a half-Asian who isn’t at least very close to a sexibeast. Also, the stigma is actually a lot less about race and more about culture. Like, most half-Asians I know actually were raised fully assimilated into Western culture. Because I’m a bossy/commandeering little bitch and would force my children to learn Chinese as a first language (somehow lol) and do a LOT of at-home teaching, I can imagine there would be SOME sort of clash.

A final comment from one of my friends, in response to the recent re-share of this status:

now [Tim] just needs to hook up with a black guy to fulfill the other half of the prophecy

Ray J is my one true love. You caught me.