Learning One of Life’s Great Lessons: the Magic of Self Care
By: Mali Locke, Director, Milken Institute Center for Strategic Philanthropy

A few months ago, I began investigating the health and wellbeing of undergraduates for a project here at the Milken Institute’s Center for Strategic Philanthropy (CSP). Cindy Citrone was struggling to help her children through the anxiety and pressure of school and adolescence. She soon realized that many of her friends also lacked the skills to teach their children emotional regulation and management. Last year, Cindy began dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) which she says changed her life dramatically and gave her the tools to help her family. But she was aware that emotional problems were preventing more and more young people from thriving — and driving many to self-harm.
Research shows that rates of anxiety, depression, and suicidality have skyrocketed in recent years among young people. As Cindy was a trustee at a university, we were trying to identify ways colleges and universities might address the needs of their students by taking a community health approach to wellbeing. That is to say, not just approaching student wellbeing individually but by creating a campus climate with policies and structures that support all students, faculty, and staff.
Around the same time, the internet was abuzz with a Yale class on happiness. The class, Psych 157: Psychology and the Good Life, dubbed “Happiness 101,” enrolled almost 25 percent of the undergraduate population, the largest enrollment reported for a single class in Yale’s 300-plus year history. Some alumni scoffed at the course, saying students should not waste thousands of dollars on throwaway classes. As a Yale alumna with a long history of depression and anxiety, I strongly disagree. Indeed, Psych 157 could very well be the most important and impactful course of these students’ lives; and, it could also be an inexpensive and effective way to scale student wellbeing interventions.
While Yale’s course got lots of media attention, Berkeley, Harvard, Penn, and Stanford, among many other colleges and universities, offer similar courses. The field of positive psychology emerged in the late 1990s with Dr. Martin Seligman largely considered its forefather. Rather than focusing on illness and negative behavior, positive psychology focuses on the factors that contribute the most to wellbeing and happiness. These factors include purpose, spirituality, self-acceptance, social connection, and agency. Most importantly, this science shows that wellbeing can be pursued proactively through a variety of evidence-based interventions. Meditation, volunteering, gratitude journals, and social connections are all low-threshold, effective ways to improve mood and emotional resilience.
Even as I read research studies demonstrating the efficacy of these practices, I was skeptical of their potential to work on me. Nevertheless, I was curious. I downloaded a free gratitude app about four months ago without high expectations. Practicing gratitude can increase empathy, resilience, and social connection. At 9 p.m. every night, I get a reminder to write down three or more things I am grateful for that day such as “gardening in my front yard with my mom” or “seeing how much my son loves his books.” So simple but so powerful. I have been shocked by the change it has made in my life. I am kinder to myself and others. I am more present with my son. I rebound more quickly from distress or disappointment. As my 20th college reunion at Yale approaches, I have to wonder, how much happier might the last two decades have been had I known how to help myself?
September is National Suicide Prevention Month. It is also Self-Care Awareness Month. After months of research with CSP, Cindy decided to use her philanthropy to destigmatize mental illness further and increase access to services in her hometown of Pittsburgh. Moreover, she is committed to promoting innovative wellbeing practices for people of all ages.
As we prepare our children to start or return to school, we should take advantage of this opportunity to learn wellbeing together. By teaching them early, we can help our children build a toolkit of self-care practices that will last a lifetime and enable them to experience success in all forms.
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You can share your experience of what wellness means to you by taking this 15 minute peer-designed survey to shape the development of mental health treatments for depression and bipolar.
To learn more about the Milken Institute Center for Strategic Philanthropy, visit our website here.
