The term 'feminist' has to be one of the most misunderstood and abused words out there. It's thrown around whether or not the situation warrants it. If you advise a girl to focus on school instead of getting married with nothing to her name, you get the tag in no friendly words. Someone said they hate men? Feminist🫵🏼. A woman killed her husband somewhere? It's those damned feminists. In fact, the world is disintegrating, all thanks to feminists.
But I'm going to take the pains to give definitions today. A feminist is someone who believes in feminism, simply put. So what is feminism then? It is the belief in the equality of the sexes, with an emphasis on women's rights. Why the emphasis on women's rights, you might ask? Well, because in the world we live in today, women are more likely to be disadvantaged more significantly and tangibly, but I digress. That's a discussion for another day. So, my dear, if you believe in equality of people regardless of their gender, I don't know whatever name you might have called yourself in times past—humanist, equalist, whatever -ist—I'm here to break it to you: congratulations, you're a feminist.
And why's that? Because as I said above, the most likely victims of this unequal system are women. Supposing there was an alt universe where the roles were reversed between genders, it would make sense to call yourself a masculinist, or maybe meninist. Do you now get my drift?
That's enough mansplaining for a week. Back to the point of this article.
There's this adjective that's hardly ever lacking where the word 'feminist' is used: angry. They almost always go together, so much so that some people may have no idea they are separate words. Some variations include bitter feminist, etc. It's almost as if there's a general consensus that all feminists are a bunch of angry, bitter people.
But that's not true. I for one am a feminist, but I'm not angry. This is not me trying to separate just myself from the herd and stand alone. It's a statement of fact. It's not that I hate to be referred to as angry, or that I think anger is a bad phenomenon. On the contrary, I do encourage a healthy dose of anger. You need it; we all do. Even the Bible doesn't frown on it totally (Ephesians 4:26). It's part of human nature, so why should I shun it?
No successful movement has achieved their goals without the angry ones. Someone has to go out there, hit the streets, slam the government, corporate bodies, internet trolls. But not everyone. And that's where I come in.
More like, people like me, actually. I've tried to be 'angry', to write heated articles and breathe fire, but as the saying goes, if e didn't dey, e didn't dey. I simply can't. I'd rather drop explanatory pieces on the subject and call on ará àdúgbò to come and read up, understand the opposing sides, hug each other and say sorry.
I naturally can’t help but be drawn to the allure of rationality. As a child, I was the kind who’d sit at home, nose in a book, reading anything and everything until my mom came to have a look at the book and either shake her head and go away or snatch it from me because apparently I wasn’t supposed to be reading that. Now as an adult, I pride myself in my ability to enter "enemy territory" just to hear both sides and understand the rationales behind their thought processes and actions, even when I know I don’t or won’t agree with them.
When analysing movements, I see things that make me understand the visibly upset members and their actions. Take for example, the sad occurrence in the UK just weeks ago, where a teenage girl was hacked to death on a public bus for turning down her killer's proposal. Or the more recent example, where a school headmaster defiled a 4-year-old student and even cut her privates with a pair of scissors so he could fit in. Moments like this justify all the anger, and even demand for more rage. Even the calmer ones like us get pretty riled up.
The point is, we will not all have the exact same reaction every time and in the same doses. It doesn't necessarily make you less concerned. You're probably like me, poker-faced ninety-nine percent of the time, a laid back nooticer, armchair analyst. You've probably felt guilty when seeing others ready to raze the place, but somehow you can't find it within yourself to produce that kind of energy.
I want you to understand that it takes both thinkers and doers to make a movement work. Someone has to explain like everyone’s 5, make people see reasons and join the train. And there’s a time to act, because it’s a crazy world and there are some things ṣalaye alone won’t achieve for you.
Every movement is like a car (hmm, see that?) A car needs both an accelerator and brakes. You can’t choose between them. It’s not an either-or situation. If you apply only the accelerator the car is sure to crash, and if you keep your legs pressed down on the brakes you’ll get nowhere. If you look inwards you’ll find yourself to be more of one than the other. Not totally one and none of the other, because life is hardly ever black-and-white. Know what you are and serve in your best capacity. Together we dey make the work waka.
Day 21!!!!! And with that, my watch has ended…or has it? Now I think about it, no. I already came this far—21 days— so why not just go through with it? I’ve decided I’ll extend my writing streak to the rest of the whole month, because why not? So make sure to clap 50 times, drop a comment, and check this space tomorrow because there definitely will be something special waiting for you, as always ❤️
