“Radical honesty” sounds good in theory, but in practice it’s awful. Worse, it can be a cover for emotional abuse. How many times have we all heard “I’m just being honest” as an excuse for being mean? Valuing honesty in the relationship does not give your partner license to insult you or be cruel, and you shouldn’t be expected not to be hurt because honesty.

I understand talking about resentment when it comes to behavior, but what possible good could come of telling your partner you’re mad she’s not hot enough? The partner with inappropriate preconceptions about love and attractiveness isn’t you — it’s him.