Happiness. An emotional or mental state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions. Of course happiness is a desirable state; happiness gives us a sense of personal significance, worth, and a way to address the ills in the world while determining right from wrong. A quick Google search of “How to be Happy” yields thousands of thousands of hits, each seemingly a different psychologist, or philosopher, or even just an average-Joe, telling you the great secret to happiness. If we had actually figured out the secret to happiness, though, would we really need thousands of individuals each putting their own spin on how to achieve it?? Really, I think people have been trying since the beginning of humankind to achieve happiness, and the methods, at the core of thing, probably haven’t changed all that drastically. AKA “There’s nothing new under the sun.”

In the parable, Jesus uses the two brothers as examples of how there are two basic ways people try to find happiness: moral conformity or self-discovery.

The elder brother is obviously the example of moral conformity. Moral conformity says that the only way to attain happiness and be able to justify and make the world right is with moral rectitude. Essentially, it is a standard of constantly having to be “good enough” to justify happiness, or to be able to live up to standards to be deserving of happiness. With moral conformity, even in your failures you have to measure up; one must be properly repentant and punish yourself to make up for your failures.

When I read Keller’s description of moral conformity as an attempt to find happiness, he once again blew my mind. The more I read in this book, the more I realize- I AM THE ELDER BROTHER!! I am a rule follower, constantly striving to live up to other’s standards, even standards that I am only imagining to exist. More so, it was especially the part about measuring up even in our failures that resonated with me. I am living in a mindset that even in my failure I have to earn my happiness. Perhaps this sinful and convoluted way of looking at the world has influenced my own issues of dealing with feelings of failure and inadequacy. I sure as heck have never found lasting happiness by punishing myself for failure. But maybe my corrupted way of trying to justify the world offers the beginning of an explanation of how I got the idea that it would in the first place.

In contrast, the younger brother is the example of trying to find happiness through self-discovery. This path advocates the freedom to pursue goals and self-actualization as the key to happiness.

Modern western culture, and its plethora of self-help books and websites and articles and speakers, is rather torn as to which proposed method to happiness it advocates. Rather, our society breaks everyone up distinctly into one of the two groups. And each group does not think very highly of members of the other. The “self-discoverers” see the “moral conformists” as close-minded, old-fashioned, stifling bigots. On the flip side, the “moral conformists” see the “self-discoverers” as immoral wild children, living irresponsibly and polluting the morality of the world. A great dichotomy is set up where “if you’re not with us you’re against us.” The thing is, the message Jesus was bringing in this parable was that BOTH methods are wrong.

“I am not altogether on anybody’s side, because nobody is altogether on my side… But there are some things, of course, whose side I’m altogether NOT on.”

Essentially?? It’s like the people were asking: moral conformity or self discovery? And the simple, clear cut, and altogether unexpected answer Jesus gave was NEITHER. We can achieve happiness neither through moral conformity nor self discovery. Upholding laws, being “basically a good person,” punishing ourselves for failures… those things will never achieve true happiness, true presence in the love of our Father. And neither will pursuing goals and abandoning standards of morality. But, if we cannot achieve happiness through conforming to society OR by abandoning it in pursuit of our own standards, what is the key to happiness?!