Ten things I learned about being a DCI girlfriend back home.

DCI (Drum Corps International) is known to be hundreds of thousands of high school students and college adults competing to show their passion for music by performing across the U.S in competitions. Although from my boyfriend to myself, I NOW know DCI is more than what a silly definition on Google can define. Drum corps is something I will never understand, but I will continue to support. Drum corps is known to be “every relationships worst nightmare”, but not as dramatic as people say. Drum corps is my boyfriends world, and it makes my world to see him happy. Though it can come with challenge’s, here are ten things I learned from having my boyfriend away for DCI.

1.) He’s going to be busy….. Constantly, busy.

I can’t say I know what it’s like to be in Drum Corps because I cannot even hold the triangle correctly, but what I can tell you is their free time is slim to none. To all those girlfriends that tend to get alittle jealous, I feel you; but it’s not necessary and it’s a waste of energy. They’re schedule is strict and difficult, but it helps them get into the shape they need preform and do better. If you don’t know what I mean here’s a picture of just a schedule for one day:

Now, if that doesn’t look busy to you I don’t know what will. The best thing you can do is adapt to change and understand it’s not that they don’t want to make as much time as possible, because they’ll try. But it won’t be as often as you wish.

2.) He’s going to be tired, cut him slack.

This is one I really struggled to get a hold on because it was very difficult to tell if he didn’t want to talk to me or he was extremely tired or salty; and 99.9% of the time he was tired and the other .1% was him being alittle salty. Expectations are actions that can ruin relationships, but in Drum corps it can literally TEAR your relationship apart. Don’t expect cutesy texts all the time, extremely happy moods, or for him to help you in ALL the tough times; because sometimes they don’t have the energy too. I’m not saying don’t go to your boyfriend, because mine is my ALL-TIME best friend. All I’m saying is in DCI it’s hard to keep those expectations high, so it’s better to take the love you get and let go of those irrational expectations. Besides, you’ll save yourself from a couple of arguments.

3.) ANY care package, letter, or anything that reminds him of you or his family, he will LOVE and appreciate. So have some fun, be crafty!

Don’t be shy because he’s far away, send him letters and care packages! It will get your mind off of him being extremely busy, you’ll have fun, and you’ll think of him in the best ways! This is your opportunity to really make him feel loved. :) Go all out, you both will appreciate it later when he gets back.

4.) Missing him will come in waves; consistent waves.

Sometimes it’s going to feel like you’re getting this whole “long distance, barely talking thing” down! …..and sometimes you’re just going to want cry because it sucks and it’s just too difficult. Which is completely normal and you may not get completely use to it and you may. Just breath, pray, and keep a countdown! I always have one on my phone and have it alert me when a day goes by. Time flies, so try to distract yourself as much as possible.

5.) Take Advantage of our wonderful God, your family, and your friends!❤️

Yes, it’s very tough being away from someone you care so deeply about; trust me. BUT BUT you have so many people to spend time with! This is a wonderful time to grow in your relationship with God and have time with just him. Do scripture studies, pray of course, and go to church! It will help in this difficult time. And if that’s not your thing that’s okay too! Spend time with your bestfriends, go do something fun; even if it’s just the mall, it’s getting your mind off of this. Spend time with your family, especially if you haven’t had the chance. Go out to dinner with them and talk about your life. Go do exciting things with them, family is so important. Don’t spend all your time wishing and wishing he will come home because it will just make you even more upset.

6.) Cherish FaceTime and calls. Even if it’s less than a minute, consider it a blessing.

You will get some days where you two talk for a hour or two, and some days where it’s less than two minutes consider each one a blessing. If you have a problem like I do with expectations, you’ll come to learn it can be tough to place both in the same category, but atleast you are hearing from him and that’s something you’ll need to get use to. Either way, it’s only temporary and its a lot easier to be happy with anything when you look in a different perspective.

7.) This will only make (you)r relationship stronger.

Long distance shows how dedicated you can be. It tests your love, and your willingness to fight. You have a choice in this, (especially if you’re like me and DCI was my first time being long distance) You can either make it work or find something else. But you choose what happens, so you might as well let this make your relationship stronger instead of weaker. Plus, if you love your guy as much as I do, anything is possible and you’ll get through this and come out even stronger. Philippeans 4:13.💗

8.) Arguments, spats, and disagreements will happen, just let them; don’t try and avoid them because you’re far away.

We all don’t like arguments, but there is always tough times sometimes. If you are willing to push through them, you can truly get through anything else. When you are away from someone you love for a long time it’s extremely difficult, challenging, and cringing sometimes. Moods change, and sometimes one of you will be upset or salty or sad and it may not be pretty. Don’t think of it as a “possible end to your relationship” think of it as growing. Every relationship long distance or not goes through these types of things and you two will make it through if you both push through.

9.) DCI relationships & Normal long distance relationships are pretty much the same. Confide in someone with experience in either.

Through this time, you’re going to need God, your family, your friends, and people who know what this is like. Nothing is more comforting than people who understand your situation or something very similar to your situation. Talk about things, vent, and do what you have to do. It gets easier through time, but it gets easier when you have a core group of friends and someone to understand.

10.) Be positive. Don’t stop living your life because one thing is difficult.

Positivity is key in this type of situation. It’s a tough thing to go through whether it’s your first time or last, but don’t forget to remember the positive aspects in your life and that this is ONLY temporary. The moment you see them again will be so unforgettable and happy! After almost two months of not seeing my boyfriend I’m ready for that so much. You just have to remember that it’s coming and in the moment let your inner strength take over and make you stronger! Because you’ve got this way more than you think you do.👊🏻💪🏻

So whether you’re in a DCI relationship or even in a long distance relationship, it may not be easy, but it will be worth it. It’s all about the effort, trust, and hope you place into your relationship. As my dentist was actually telling me was,

“You choose to fight, and you can choose to make it work. You either let it make you or break you.”

My suggestion is don’t give something up because it gets “tough” or “you’re not use to it” or if you’re even afraid because you can do this. If I can have extreme anxiety disorder and get through something like this strong, you can do this stronger.