Don’t change for anybody
When we are looking for a partner or when we meet someone we like we have the tendency to change for this person. We have an illusion of when we change, the other person will appreciate us (even) more, will like us better.
This is honestly the biggest mistake anyone can make, ever! (and mostly done without thinking so don’t punish yourself if you did)
When we meet someone, we like this person for a reason. The chemistry is good or the feeling is good, just the way you like to put it.
This makes you like this person over all the other people you met before and perhaps even after.
When this feeling is right the relationship has a good chance to last.
To respect one another’s differences is part of the relationship. If these do not match you need to think, can you accept these differences.
Don’t even consider to change yourself or worse don’t change for the other person just because you need to feel loved, need to be needed. This change seems simple, only the result will be, you will lose yourself. After losing yourself you will find yourself unkind in your behavior to your spouse as you feel something is wrong. You just don’t know what is wrong. It will take quite some time to find the reason for this behavior as you changed gradually and not overnight.
Still you find yourself blaming the other person as you feel you gave so much in this relationship and you think the other one does not return your favors. Does not stretch as far as you did to make things work. The other person did not sacrifice behavior or friends for you. You find yourself tight up in the relation and wonder why. You still love the other person (most of the time) and don’t feel loved back as you would like.
I can give you numerous examples of feelings that mostly come down to this…you changed yourself for the other. You miss yourself and expect the other to solve or fix this.
That’s not possible, not at all. You and only you can fix yourself, solve your issues.
You need to realize you are willing to be loved so much, you gave up who you were just to be loved. And basically, you just wanted to be loved for who you are, your true self.
Start to love you as you are, with all the habits and behaviors as well as your looks. If you manage, and you can! Trust yourself in this. I am sure you will find the partner/spouse that will too.
