Be sure to zoomorphise the new parents in your life. Consider what you’ve learned from old yellow National Geographic magazines or when the TV remote was out of reach and Animal Planet was on the screen. This may be the first time they are dealing with the primal, instinctive nature…


Stop being such a little B*tch about the whole thing.

US culture doesn’t respect men enough to be fathers. Fathers are treated like sperm and then excluded from much of the care taking portion, finally to be sent off to be hunter gatherer.

During pregnancy, men are treated like morons…


Someone asked me how I plan to parent, and I was like, um, “Jewish?” and then I said to myself, “Self, wtf does that mean?” and I’m still not sure.

I find a lot of this “What kind of Parent Are You” thing to be one of those annoying, “If a Tree falls in the forest and someone wasn’t offended by it on social media, how racist are you” kinds of mindsets. I am not deep enough or smart enough…


These are in no particular order. If you want to know more, just ask :)

Hypnosis exercises.

I know it is some crunchy sh*t. I get it. I was introduced to HypnoBirthing, or whatever stupid label the oversized book in front of you calls it, in our childbirth class at…


I think it is dumb for me to give such an obvious disclaimer as:

I’m not a professional, just a newish mother. Not everything that worked for me will work for you and may be completely irrelevant to you… All pregnancies and births are different….” Obviously. And as ever, one…


There are tons of resources for packing for the Hospital, or wherever you plan to drop it like it’s hot (Give birth, yeah I know that was gross). Here’s a few things that I suggest bringing. …


The last 10 months got weird, and you are ready for them to get back to something familiar. You are wise and intellectually, you know that life won’t go back to the way it was. You have extra leggings for the coming months, you are prepared for hormone peaks and…


When I got pregnant, and I’ve talked about this before, People (women) were weird about it. And it pissed me off because I was scared and sick and felt alone/prisoner in my uncomfortable form. …


My early insight to pregnancy came from Kirstie Alley in Look Who’s Talking. I didn’t understand the jokes then because I was seven, and maybe I don’t understand all the jokes now because the early 90’s had it’s own kind of humor. Skip twenty years to my “Girl Friday” years…


There’s plenty of reasons that early pregnancy can be a bummer and lovely and exciting.

As connected as our culture has become, we are can be isolated in weird ways, which is annoying because Sheryl Sandberg told us to Lean In and we still can’t find a f*cking parenting group…

Miriam Pearl

Reader, sporadic writer, bon vivant (or whatever). Tulsa, NYC, Paris, Israel, Western Mass, Northern VA, B7.

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