I Got High As Sh*t The Other Day

It was truly an accident.

I didn’t mean for any of it to happen.

But once it started, it kept getting stronger and stronger.

It’s happened a few times before.

But never like this.

Now what if I told you there were no smelly herbs involved?

No fungi or weird pills either.

Just stillness.

I had just finished a breathwork exercise.

Mindful breathing to keep me focused.

It connects my mind and body.

Reminds them they’re a unit.

Then, the magic started to happen…

Sitting cross-legged in my backyard,

I rested my hands on top of my knees while forming mudras.

My eyelids gently shut.

First, the birds’ chirping got louder,

then, the breeze got more refreshing,

and my thoughts got lighter.

I noticed my eyelids wanted to open.

Keeping them shut was surprisingly hard.

But, as I got deeper into my meditation,

this slowly vanished.

Keeping them closed became effortless.

I’ve been doing one of Joe Dispenza’s meditations.

It’s all about focusing on space.

The space you take up in space.

And the space around that space.

I started to focus on my lips,

and the space they take up in space.

Then I focused on my jaw,

and the volume it takes up in space.

I proceeded to focus on my nose, my cheeks,

my forehead, my ears,

and my face as a whole.

I moved on to my upper torso.

I paid attention to my chest,

the space it takes up… in space.

My heart and how its space changes as it beats.

I feel it more when I focus on it.

I focused on my lungs and how they expand and shrink as I breathe.

My back.

I hadn’t truly felt my back in a while unless it hurt.

Crazy how sometimes your body has to hurt for you to notice it.

These thoughts started to arise, but I didn’t lose focus.

I shifted my attention to my arms and elbows.

My forearms, wrists, and hands.

I felt the space my fingers take up in space.

Almost like a tingling sensation.

But you have to focus really hard in order to feel it.

It’s not used to being felt.

I proceeded to feel my lower torso,

then my lower extremities,

and then my entire body.

The space I take up as a whole.

I thought about how it changes shape as I move.

Then I focused on the space around me.

I felt the space around my body.

I felt it.

I felt the distance between my legs.

I felt the space between my arms.

I started to spin.

I was still.

But I was also spinning.

And it got faster and faster.

The best way to describe it is when you get “the spins.”

You know when you’re really fucked up and you feel like you’re spinning.

This felt like that but without the dizziness and the vomit.

This felt adrenal.

This was spiritual.

I felt the energy that had been collecting dust in every corner of my body come out.

It had been liberated

from these places I don’t usually pay attention to.

It was leaving my body, stretching, running around my backyard.

I felt it.

I could almost see it.

But only if I remained focused.

The second I lost focus, I could feel it try to vanish.

The second I lost stillness, I could feel it slipping away.

So I sat there and just observed how my body felt.

I observed the space around the space I was in,

the space of my backyard,

and the space that space was in… in space.

I continued to have thoughts such as:

“How come we always forget (almost) everything is nothing but space?”

“Why do we always focus on the decimal that is tangible things rather than the energy that connects them all?”

I continued to spin, but it slowed down.

My awareness of the world changed.

My awareness of my body and energy changed.

I sat there and observed until I felt my energy return to me.

I began to hear chirping again.

I felt the breeze caress my skin again.

I was back in my body.

All of me.

And just like that,

as I wiggled my fingers and toes to slowly wake my body up,

my perception of life had changed.

The spinning stopped, but my high lingered.

I felt how connected I am to every existing soul.

We’re all connected by the energy that surrounds us.

I reflected on the fact that the space around me is shaped by me.

I’m the author of the space that surrounds me.

And I find that a beautiful thing.

The high I felt that day doesn’t compare to any brain-altering substance.

The day you spin the way I spun, you’ll understand.

‘Till then, I’ll be forever chasing that high

with daily meditations, with daily breathing practices,

and with daily appreciation of space.

I hope you get high, too.

It’s definitely addictive.

Photo by Evie S. on Unsplash

Thank you for reading :)

If you’re interested in the meditation I followed click here.

-MirosBarr