Time Capsule: Part 1 (Week 5): Birdies, Strawberries, & Galileo (And My Dad)

The timing of this assignment could not have fallen more appropriately.

Tomorrow, October 17th, is the 6th anniversary of my dad’s passing. Each year, it gets a little easier, but some belongings of his (and items that remind me of our time together) can be just as heart-wrenching to dig out of boxes and bags as when I hurriedly buried them in 2016. For this project, a few of the objects I initially chose had remained untouched since he passed away.

This experience was not without many tears.

However, along a more positive vein, this assignment, though emotionally challenging, was cathartic in a way I didn’t know I needed. I tend to shy away from making art about my dad — my time for that came and left years ago. I made a number of pieces about him, but stopped once I felt I had processed it all as much as I could handle. But in pushing myself to confront those emotions head-on through this project, I felt some of my grief’s weight lift from my shoulders, and I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to explore more deeply the way I (and we) process losing loved ones and the way our emotions and memories change as the years pass. I still hear my dad’s voice guiding me through life and adversity. He will always be with me and there is nothing that can stand in the way of my love for him.

THE OBJECTS (AS THEY EXIST NOW)

A badminton birdie stored away in a bag from 2016, a strawberry ornament in a box ready for Christmas time, and 2 Galileo thermometers (the original’s contents in a plastic container, and the new one standing beside it on my countertop).

IDEATION, SKETCHES, & MY PROCESS

NOTEBOOK SPREAD 1 TEXT:

List of Meaningful Objects:
- Dad’s marble (more details below)
- Mommom’s popsicle sweater (a rainbow pastel sweater my grandma wore when I was little; she gave it to me and I still mention it to her every now and then)
- Dad bunny (a stuffed bunny I bought shortly after my dad passed away to symbolize his continued presence; I still have the bunny)
- Kitten ornament (a Christmas ornament from his office tree)
- Angel wing earring (more details below)
- Long Branch sand (sand I collected from Long Branch, NJ, at the beach during a time when I felt empowered and strong for the first time in years)
- Crocheted wall flower (a pretty flower I made and hung on my wall; I recently made my grandma a matching one)
- Badminton birdie (my dad and I used to play badminton all the time when I was little)
- Dad’s (& Joe’s) Galileo thermometers (more details below — my dad’s Galileo thermometer was in his office for many years, at least 15 from my memory. After he passed, I really wanted to keep it, and I brought it with me to my apartment when I moved in 2 years ago. This past March, my boyfriend accidentally knocked it over and broke it. Being so amazing and kind, he immediately found a similar one online and bought it for me. I proudly keep it where my dad’s was, and I still have the contents of the original thermometer in a plastic container.)

Ideas:
- Microsoft Paint (explained in subsequent sketches)
- Crystal Ball: Past vs. Present (the marble would be the crystal ball; my idea here was to make a giant version of the marble, maybe from a fishbowl or other plastic sphere, and transform the past objects into present-day “versions” of them that apply to my current life. For example, my grandma’s “popsicle sweater” (a rainbow pastel sweater of hers I loved as a child) morphed into my love for knitting and crocheting, etc.)
- Photoshop object through time (explained in subsequent sketches)

Stories Behind Objects:
- Marble: I always liked this marble in his office in our basement at home — one day (I was probably 7–8), I asked him if I could keep it. He said yes, but only if I promised I’d never lose it. I never did.
- Angel wing earring (14 years old): One day we went to Macy’s, and I really wanted that pair of earrings. So he got them for me. I just can’t find the other one.
- Thermometer: Galileo thermometer in his old office at work — I always loved it.
- Badminton birdie: We’d play outside in our driveway at home.
- Strawberry ornament: Decorating his work office’s Christmas tree as a kid.

NOTEBOOK SPREAD 2 TEXT:

Microsoft Paint Idea:
- A representation of each memory as I remember them now, using a tool from my childhood [to draw the objects as I remember]

Crystal Ball:
- Versions of perception of objects in past vs. how I perceive them now, after he’s gone

Photoshop Time Travel (Then vs. Now)
- THEN: Either a photo of me with the object, or Photoshopping the object into a picture from around the same time period
- NOW: Take a staged meaningful picture of myself with the object now & use the photo to illustrate what the object means to me now / how I store it away / the use it has now (vs. how we used it together then)
- Incorporate crystal ball idea — Then vs. Now?

Change Over Time:
- Thermometer: Dad’s → broken :( → Joe’s
- Strawberry Ornament: Dad’s office tree → Mommom’s tree in my apartment (Post-project comment: My grandma gave me the artificial tree she had in her house for 20+ years, and I hang the strawberry ornament on the tree every year. When it’s not hung up, it’s in an ornament box with my other ornaments, which you will see in my present-day Polaroid below)
- Badminton Birdie: Playing at home → Stored in golf shoe bag with other belongings of his; not opened once in 6 years (until now)
- Marble: In a bowl in his office → In jewelry container in my closer (both kept safe)
- Angel Wing Earring: Now in a jewelry container in my closet

NOTEBOOK SPREAD 3 TEXT:

My 2 favorite options:

1. Using Microsoft Paint — I always drew my dad pictures using Paint as a kid, so it would be neat to use this tool again to capture a memory I have of each object from my childhood — using a tool my younger self would’ve used during that time. I sort of see this as an interesting take on me still seeing the objects/memories through the eyes of my younger childhood self.
2. Then vs. Now comparison — (maybe using Photoshop) — how has the object changed over time? My understanding of it? My feelings toward it? The accuracy of my memories? The way I store/protect it? Whether it brings me happiness or sadness? (How would I represent this digitally? → struggling with this a little)
3. Polaroid idea — snapshots of then vs. now (pair of photos per object)

Post-Project Reflection: It seems my final stories were an amalgamation of my 3 favorite initial ideas. :) I liked all of the ideas individually, but was having some difficulty thinking of how to combine them — but I think I did it, and I’m proud of what I created. I’ll elaborate more below on the final result.

THE FINAL STORIES:
CHILDHOOD “SNAPSHOTS” vs. ADULT PRESENT-DAY “SNAPSHOTS”

I really love the 3 pairings I created for my final memory narratives. Each object is represented first by a childhood memory snapshot, and then by a present-day snapshot, showing where and how the object exists now (physically, symbolically, and emotionally).

Each of the childhood “Polaroids” are partially buried in sand. The picture of the buried Polaroid is a real photo I took during my last vacation with my parents in 2016 to Cancun, Mexico (so the background of the childhood Polaroid images also holds meaning for me, as it’s from the last trip I took with my dad). I took a Polaroid picture of the beautiful ocean waves, and thought it would be neat to take a picture of the Polaroid half-buried in the sand. At the time, it just looked cool; while creating this project, I saw an opportunity to represent these snapshots as half-buried memories. Thinking of the times we shared makes me happy, but sometimes the realization that I will never experience them again becomes too real, and I need to “bury” my emotions and memories. Out of sight, out of mind.

After drawing each object in its environment in Microsoft Paint, I superimposed those drawings onto the Polaroid frame in GIMP. As I wrote above, I thought using Paint was a really cool way to visualize and show these objects/memories through the lens I “saw” them with as a child. I discovered a text font online that resembles childlike handwriting, and used it to caption the old photos (as if I wrote the captions myself as a child).

I took the “adult” Polaroids today. I wrote the date and time so I can remember when I took each. It’s a shame I don’t know the dates and times of the original memories, but I suppose I’m grateful to have the memories in the first place.

(A side note — I find it interesting that none of my childhood snapshots have people in them. I didn’t draw myself, my dad, or anyone else. While in Paint, I kind of just let the art flow from my mouse — whatever came to me is the final result. There was no undoing and no editing. I wanted it to be raw and real. Perhaps I omitted others because drawing people is too hard. Or perhaps I excluded them intentionally to represent the emptiness I feel without him.)

Click on each image to see them more in detail.

CHILDHOOD SNAPSHOT: I remember one particular day we played badminton together in our driveway at home. It was a gloomy, rainy spring day, and I must’ve been around 7 or 8 years old. We usually played in the summertime when it was warm and sunny, but this rainy day is always what I think of. We’d play right next to our garage, and I’d always face the house across the street. He was a quiet man, but loved his sports — especially, playing them together with me. ADULT SNAPSHOT: The birdie sits in a golf shoe bag, the one storage place I have for his belongings or things that remind me of him and the fun we had together. Even though the birdie is meaningful to me, it’s tough for me to look at, and it was really difficult opening this bag and holding the birdie for the first time in 6 years. Some things of his make me happy, and others — even though I have happy *memories* of them — don’t bring me the same joy in person. (You can see the “Dad bunny” in the right Polaroid.)

CHILDHOOD SNAPSHOT: My dad’s office had a big Christmas tree as soon as you walked into the reception area. Every year, the receptionist Marilyn helped decorate it. When I was about 4 or 5, I asked if I could help, and every year after that I became the Christmas tree assistant! My favorite ornaments were fruit-shaped. There were grapes, pears, apples, and strawberries — I think I liked them because they were so unique. I always wondered why an office would decorate a Christmas tree with fruit ornaments. Nonetheless, I loved them anyway. ADULT SNAPSHOT: I saved one strawberry ornament after my dad passed. I think there might be other ornaments from his tree in my basement at home, but I’m not sure — this is all I have. I do still use the strawberry on my Christmas tree every year! It is one of the few objects that remind me of him that makes me happy (though in a bittersweet way). Although the strawberry sits packed away all year in a box, it is in the company of other ornaments from my childhood, and sits proudly on the very front of my tree at Christmas.

CHILDHOOD SNAPSHOT: My dad always had a Galileo thermometer (click on link to read more!) sitting on a bookshelf in his office. I think I only loved it as a child because it was rainbow — I don’t think I really understood what it did. :) I always knew I wanted to have it eventually. ADULT SNAPSHOT: After he passed, I took it with me in 2020 to my new apartment, and displayed it on my kitchen counter where I’d always see it. Unfortunately, the thermometer was accidentally knocked over and broken this year. My boyfriend bought me a near-identical replacement, which is standing beside the original whose contents (I managed to save what was inside) I keep in a small plastic container. While I can never have the original back, it was such a meaningful gesture for my boyfriend to get me another. He knows how important my dad is to me, and I am thankful for his thoughtfulness. While I do not necessarily think of it this way, this could artistically/conceptually/symbolically represent new beginnings and new doors opening for me — with my dad by my side then, and still at my side now (his continued presence represented by the new thermometer).

ORIGINAL FULL-SIZE MICROSOFT PAINT IMAGES

POST-PROJECT REFLECTION

I spent so much time thinking about how to capture these memories, and I still have ideas for how to tell them in different and improved ways! I had an idea for a next step, if I chose to integrate these snapshots into a social media platform: Facebook and Snapchat both have “Memories” features where they show you pictures taken or posted on the same day from each prior year. Perhaps it would be interesting to integrate these Polaroids into those systems in a Then vs. Now type of post. Would it be a commentary on how the pain of loss never leaves (the platforms always ‘remind’ you of the memories), or more of a celebration of your time with a loved one while they were still here?

Despite the difficult topic, I enjoyed the time I spent on this project. It allowed me to better understand my feelings and experiences and process them in both creative and analytical ways. Throughout this process, I’ve been nervous to express my feelings in concrete form and write about them — after all, these objects must not look like anything particularly meaningful or valuable to anyone else— but we all have those few really special things that remind us of the ones we love. We are all entitled to and deserving of the feeling of comfort these objects may bring as a way to keep their spirits with us.