The New Sexy
There are men who don’t want to wake up. There are men who are completely satisfied with the brain-numbing distraction, stress and entertainment that is targeted at them from a young age. Maybe not satisfied completely, as in to-the-core, but placated enough, appeased enough, to shut up and let the current take them wherever it’s going.
There are men in various stages of waking up. There are men who intellectually consider women as their equals, at least in public, for the most part. But even these men find themselves forgetting when they become attracted to a woman, or annoyed by a woman, or in a position of power over a woman. The woman is a commodity, and she is wanted or unwanted.
Woman is image. She is form. We like it, we invite it, we want more of it. She has a face, but no name. Or just a body. Her face is not necessary, not if it gets in the way. Her voice is a nice addition if it is seductive enough, and if she says what we want to hear. Woman is here to satiate. That is all.
The “good woman” works very hard and asks for little in return. She is “pure” for all intensive purposes, but as kinky as her man desires when he desires it. She does everything right and she looks good while doing it; she volunteers, cooks, attends all the meetings, sits with the children in the evening to patiently work on their homework with them. Her kindness is never-ending. Her demeanor is sweet and placid. The food she prepares is delicious and creative. She takes lots of advice from Pinterest. And she works out religiously, in her magically-occurring spare time! She is superwoman. She has tons of friends, so she’s never lonely, but she always prioritizes time for her man. She is ever-faithful. She is drama-free.
Not all of us can be the “good woman” all of the time. Many of us don’t care to follow any kind of prescribed path, ever.
Many, many women are in various stages of waking up. I am one of them.
Despite being raised by a progressive single-mother in a liberal part of the country, despite my classes in Women’s Studies, despite a plethora of teachings about equality that I was given throughout my childhood and adolescence, I have forgotten my birthright time and again. For many years, the drive to attain “what looks good” versus “what feels good” ran strong in me. I was blind to it, for it was as simple as my will to survive, that impulse to please men. Not all of them, of course, but when they entered my energy field, when they somehow applied to my life, I had to acquiesce. I trusted their desire for me (or lack thereof) more than I could trust my own sense of self. I had no concept of what I actually wanted to experience because I had somehow been programmed to “make him want you/like you/love you.” And yes, at times I felt like a shell of a human being.
The men weren’t doing anything WRONG, per se. They were just letting me please them. How convenient. Another young lady who doesn’t know her worth, nothing new to see there.
But now, everything is different. Not in the world. But in this mind that has shifted its view, from outward to in. The awakening of consciousness can be slow and weird and awkward. There is this long stage of transformation that may last lifetimes. As I learn to exist as Awareness, I am not a caterpillar anymore. Neither am I the butterfly. I am primordial soup. I look and feel nothing like I did before I surrendered to the process. What I am becoming is not yet revealed. I am soup. Dismantled. Messy. Unknown, except to the One who shapes me.
I live and breathe and move in the body. I might appear to have it all together at certain times, from certain flattering angles. I assure you, I do not!
Despite this mess, I do so want to experience the ecstasy of union with a man who can walk this path with me. But a man like this is rare to find.
Men have an incredible opportunity and responsibility at this stage in our human evolution. Every man has his own birthright that is calling to him, singing to him, and literally crying for him to claim it. By gender alone, a man is given power. This power is a tool or a weapon, and his choice is critical.
Many men would never even consider acting in violence against a woman, child or other more vulnerable being. But few men will put themselves in the public eye to speak out against that kind of brutality. Few men are forming coalitions to end sexism and to heals its wounds. Few men feel brave enough to stand up to other men to stop the cycles of abuse that continue to run rampant in every country around the world. Few men are seen outwardly grieving the tragedies of war — simply grieving, as in accepting the losses and feeling the impact, without running away with plans to retaliate with more guns and bigger bombs.
Few and far between are the men who are willing to speak out about their own wounds and become teachers and guides for other men who are also learning to heal. To speak of emotions, pain, vulnerability and the need for healing is a dangerous act for many men. Few risk it, but some do, and those some have a huge impact. Because men haven’t just been dehumanizing women for millennia, they have been dehumanizing themselves at the same time. Patriarchy is a bitch, for all of us. And those men who are tearing it down are reclaiming the jewel of masculinity.
And that jewel, my friends, is incredibly sexy, indeed!