Why do people drink, if they don’t wanna get drunk?
This was my working title when I started writing this blog while being drunk.
So at some point in human history people discovered that fermenting or purposeful rottening of fruits and other organic stuff created a foul smelling liquid which allowed them to talk to God. Now the advertent among you might say that ‘rottening’ is not a real word. Well, it is for me, not just because I’m a little drunk (I was very drunk) as I type this out, but because now that I have this word in my blog, it has become a real word with a real meaning. A word that I invented. Unless, it already was a legit word, in that case Medium’s spellcheck sucks.
Sorry, I started drifting off topic. So, humanity discovered that the meaning of life was quietly hiding in this newly found disgustingly tasteful nauseating nectar. And humans couldn’t have enough of it. Mind you, various forms of alcohol were discovered/invented independently in multiple isolated communities spread over vastly diverse geographies. It’s as if people all over the planet had a collective consciousness. And this collective consciousness’s main agenda, the very first big agenda, for mankind was to get them drunk. Priorities, right!
So people drank and got wasted all over the glob (not all at once, but that would be amazing right? Every single walking human on this planet, drunk at the same time. Imagine the chaos, the beautiful wild chaos). Over the centuries, humans approached alcohol as a highly regarded form of science and art which only the most skilled and talented could excel at. I mean the creation part of it required skill, you didn’t even need to know the shape of the planet to consume it and get drunk (holds true even today).
Alright, enough history. Let’s cut to the base. (I know I should be cutting to chase. But if I can make my own word, I can damn well make my own phrase.) After years of research and development, humans now have a multitude of options when it comes to getting drunk. So many different forms of the same stinky abhorring liquid. But now instead of drinking this liquid to get drunk, they have begun drinking it casually. People don’t wanna be “wasted” any more. What… like… why… sorry, why not?
I mean what suddenly happened? We were on such a great track. Well, no, actually the track was pretty shit. Full of wars and diseases and starvations and what not. But, alcohol-wise, we were doing pretty great. Being drunk is one of the loveliest feelings that anyone can experience. It should be considered one of the basic human rights. Just like the right to live with dignity, we should have the right to get wasted. I mean, it should be my choice if I wanna throw away my right to dignity and choose to become a pet cat after my 7th shot.
I was baffled by this weird human behavior. So I tried to consult Google about this and then I was even more disappointed. People do this on purpose.
Now I’m no expert on alcohol (or may I am since I’m quite good at getting drunk), but I thought the whole point of consuming alcohol is that it lifts your spirits and loosens you up and if you have just the right amount, it turns you into a tree in the middle of desert with koala bears climbing on you to eat your finger leaves. Nobody drinks bitter gourd (melon) juice casually. You drink it for the health benefits even though it tastes like poison. So people either drink it or they don’t. There’s no middle ground of sipping it just for fun.
It feels like such a waste when alcohol is served at events but you are not “supposed” to get drunk. Why bother serving alcohol at all then? Even at the clubs, I see people sipping on their beverages and pretending to be drunk. Clubs should be the holy places where everyone gets to be drunk and wasted shamelessly. Let me correct that, everyone HAS to get drunk and wasted shamelessly. Where’s the fun in sipping and pretending to be drunk. Oh I just got an idea for my next rant: Clubs.
Come on guys, we need more drunk people in this world. Maybe there should be a political party fighting for the rights of drunk people. Or more accurately the rights of people who wanna have fun. Companies should be providing free booze at workplace if you have a shitty boss. News anchors should have to be proper drunks in order to be able to present news to the general public. No more need for spicing up news with stupidity if you get free entertainment from the new host.
Gosh I think I’m loosing my high. I won’t be able to finish my rant.
So I went hunting for more booze. Got wasted. Woke up with a hangover. Now that I read this after sobering up, I feel pity for myself. But since I have already penned this down while being half wasted, I’m not gonna let this article go to waste. (Yes, pun intended. I’m so bad at puns. I know.)
Disclaimer: This was a stupid rant. People should do whatever they feel like. Be drunk if you want or drink responsibly. It’s a personal choice. Just because I think that half drunk is a waste of booze, doesn’t make you wrong. It makes you an absolute buzzkill in my opinion, but hey, I’m allowed to have my opinion.
