Shivani Subhash Deshmukh.
Nov 1 · 4 min read

MY FUTURE HUSBAND — 8

DEAR,

I want to hug you I really want to. I really need you. I know you will be a MAN, a MAN I had always searched for. I know when I’ll tell you it hurts you will hold my hand to let me know you are there. I will never late my past ever come between us, I promise. We will have real LOVE, true LOVE. I am wounded, am vulnerable but you know I have never ever cried in front of anyone in this WORLD except somesh. I want to be an amazing WOMAN to you, and I know you will be my MAN. I don’t want anything I don’t expect anything from you just don’t ever replace me, don’t ever be a fucking guy hungry and thirsty for anything in this WORLD. We can both stay together where we both can do all our favorite things. You know I really LOVE tall and short couples, don’t take me wrong I don’t expect you to be tall or short, I will accept you in any size and shape. It’s just that I personally really like tall and short couples. You see same height/ equal heights couples/ tall couples/ short couples look good, They really look amazing, but a tall and short combination, it has been my favorite seen I was in 7th. Tall and Short they JUST look FIRE “ EMBER”. I LOVE all the tall and short couples in this WORLD. I like it when the short one raises his/her toes for the tall one. Tall and short look so IMPERFECTLY PERFECT as if made by the UNIVERSE for each other. I want to lie with you looking at the stars where we can talk stare at the entire UNIVERSE, and talk about everything the whole night. I won’t even want to look at my phone when I would be with you. JUST PURE and REAL US. Meet me, just come and meet me so that I will forget everything . I DONT EVEN WANT TO REMEMBER THAT FACE. I DONT WANT TO REMEMBER THAT NAME. I DON’T EVER WANT TO REMEMBER ANY OF THE SONGS THAT I HAVE WRITTEN. I will always give you strength and you to me. I will move on, I just need you. I really need you because I know you won’t ever confuse me, I will always know how much I matter to you. Please can we meet earlier. I know you will wipe my tears Everytime I am hurt. I won’t ever make you feel that I live in the past, I’ll move on and fall once again in LOVE with you. I can’t take this anymore. I won’t ever check him out again I promise because this time it really hurt me too bad. I am sorry for that last song I wrote on DIWALI. Today I promise you no more songs about that person, not even a single letter. I will die but won’t again ever write a single song. It was always this way there were only two possible things : 1. He never knew it, so I need to move on.

2. He knew it was one of the same typical guys I have seen in my LIFE. His mind changed in 10 days.

So both the ways it’s over and it’s over FOREVER. It’s too late now. Man I can be an amazing wife, I am bad at cooking, don’t know household things, have less knowledge about intimacy, can really dress impressive, can’t make heads turn but I am real. And yes today I want to tell you one thing honestly, I am extremely shy in my personal LIFE. I just cannot get comfortable to come and give you a steamy kiss, I need time, I cannot get closer to you just like that. I am very unromantic and honest. I get frightened even by the thought that someone might be so near to me, I am afraid of all those things that couples do because I have never done it. But I can be your friend,enemy for LIFE. I can trouble you, annoy you, punch you and be yours all my LIFE. My mind won’t change, I know you won’t let me go, I won’t ever hurt you and I know you won’t make me feel empty. I know there won’t be any lust in your eyes.i want to live a normal LIFE. Show you my imperfectly perfect WORLD. Talk to you,lauh with you, wait for you, get angry on you and still be yours. I won’t ever hurt you. Won’t ever make you feel I am interested in someone else. I want a simple and real LOVE. I know you won’t let me cry because of anything else. I will fall in LOVE with you and this time i know you won’t be a chapter of my past. Come and find me FAST. I promise, I won’t check that name, that face again sure enough he deserved something like that. I deserve YOU. This time there is no confusion, I won’t even try to understand or try to know. I don’t ever want to meet a MAN who i don’t know has met how many…. This is last night I will let my tears flow. Where are you, god help me. Give me strength, to overcome my past. Change my HEART. Man I need you because I want to cry before you a lot . I promise till my last breath I wont search that name AGAIN. NEVER. I need you.

Let’s WIN THE WORLD.

    Shivani Subhash Deshmukh.

    Written by

    IT'S SIMPLE, RADIATE🌞

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