To Cry or Not to Cry

This is just a short thought I had a while ago I wanted to share — my apologies it is a short read.

A wise woman once told me, if I cry, then I give whatever is hurting me, or disrupting my life, power. This really got to my seven year old self, being stubborn and all, I hated that I was giving the nasty little demon who misplaced my teddy bear, power. I wasn’t having it.

Today, I realize my grandmother meant more when she said that, than just in terms of lost teddy bears. It really had meaning, but it was her best way of giving a seven year old such a wise lesson — it’s impossible to get a little kid to stop crying, right? Especially a stubborn kid.

I held that piece of information with me for the next twelve years. Recently, though, I’ve found it hard to keep my tears in. I sat one night, staring at a picture of my grandmother — what a free-spirit she was, and I thought to myself: What am I feeling right now, and how can I stop it?

Don’t Fuel The Flames, but Don’t Try to Put Them Out

I realize, I shouldn’t try to stop the feelings I am feeling. That’s called suppressing your feelings, and that, my friends, is not healthy. So lately, I’ve been acknowledging my feelings, and letting them be. I just don’t give in to them, is all.

I decided to give my feelings a free visit every day, but they can only visit for maybe thirty minutes at a time. Except my positive feelings, they are welcome any time — even midnight! Negative emotions, however, have a limit. Thirty minutes a day, I allow myself to sit and think, and maybe even brood on my feelings. I allow them to be, and I don’t fight them. During that thirty minutes, I can cry, I can scream, I can write it all down — it doesn’t matter. After that thirty minutes is up, I tell myself, “You’ve had plenty of time to feel that crippling sadness, but it’s time to move on and focus on other things.” Sometimes, they don’t go away, but I try my best to ignore them until they do. Like friends, you know? Just kidding.

We will always feel sadness, depression, anxiety, fear, resentment; any negative emotion you can think of, we’ve all felt it and we continue to feel it. We are humans, after all. Positive emotions are always accompanied by negative emotions. What this means is, we have to feel sadness, to feel happiness. Plain and simple.

I see now, that maybe what my grandmother said had a little bit of flaw in — God bless her soul. Maybe, we can cry. We sure can, sometimes. However, most of the time we should allow those emotions that make us want to cry, to just hang around, but don’t give in to them. We can’t always break down and cry, and when we can’t, we have to remember that those emotions do not have power of us. Those people, those whatever causing you sadness, are meaningless unless we make them meaningful.

I refuse to make my negative emotions meaningful, so I’m allowing them to stay for a bit, but they’re out of here in a little while. It’s like that nagging step-mom that you have to let come over, but she’s definitely going to leave after a while.

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