Why he did what he did.

Today I found myself looking at old e-mails, from almost a year ago. I opened an e-mail from february 14th and read a poem he wrote me a year ago, I still don’t understand why he wrote the words he did and why he kept lying to me months after this, I don’t understand why people hurt people they love, and why he did this to me, I will never understand so I try to cherish the beautiful moments and poems and tell myself he loved me, because if it was one thing that I knew for sure, is that he loved me…at least I tell myself.

Ying

You stare into me

With resentful eyes- with pain and passion

Looking into my soul, seeing my flaws

Every wrinkle- the roadmaps of my failure, my pain, my dissapointments

You see me

Beyond the hard shell, the wall

Through the clay mask of insecurities

Through the lonliness, the coldness

To the smile, the laughs and love

You bite me

Tear me to pieces, through my ego

Cutting me to the core, a steel knife

Slicing throu the butter of my physche/strength

You kiss me

Tell me you love me, taste my mouth with longing

Feed my addictions, easing my withdrawals

Leaving track marks of lust/love

As your tongue dances across mine

You hit me

Fight against the pain, leaving its bruises across my chest

Bare knuckles scarred from round after round

In the dark alleys of love

The lingering effects- slurring your speech, slowing you down

But you keep fighting- for me — for us

You grab me

Squeeze me, hold me, fingernails in my back

Rubbing my arms, gripping my hips, legs around me

Pulling me in, deeper….into you, your love

Never letting me go

Yang