God is With Me

Sarah Lobdell
Nov 4 · 4 min read

Cerebral palsy. It’s a technical name that makes little sense to a toddler. The definition being: “A condition marked by impaired muscle coordination (spastic paralysis) and/or other disabilities, typically caused by damage to the brain before or at birth.” Born at 29 weeks gestation, I was definitely premature, weighing in at 3 pounds. As a newborn in the Foothills Hospital, I spent my first couple weeks in an incubator. Mom would come visit me every day, Dad came when he could, as well as both sets of grandparents, and all my aunts and uncles.

After 9 weeks in that hospital, I was doing well enough the doctors decided to send me to the Rockyview hospital, so Mom didn’t have to drive so far. Complications in digesting milk sent me back to the Foothills. A couple days later, I was given a blood transfusion, after which, I very much improved, and was sent home just before I was three months old.

It wasn’t until I was 15 months that my parents began to wonder if something was physically wrong with me. I couldn’t sit up, and that is not normal for that age. What I lacked in the physical, God saw that I made up for it in the mental.I was having full conversations on the phone at 15 months with my grandpa. Two months later I was diagnosed with a mild form of cerebral palsy. It affected my left side more than my right, which is why I walk with my left leg turned in. I was sent to Dr. Goldstein at the Calgary Children’s Hospital where they would check my range of motion in my legs and such. Until I was around 10 years old, we went to see him about 4 times a year. The year after I was diagnosed, I began physical therapy with Doug Gorin, and we began stretching and exercising with Carol Seaman, who was the house aide following up with what Doug wanted us to do. At three, I began the journey of walking, only with a walker at first, but then graduated to hand crutches, and lastly, was able to use the furniture and walls for support while inside the house. My third year also had an eye surgery in it, to correct my lazy left eye. I would have another one at six years old.

Someone with a handicap always knows that sometimes overcoming little things, no matter how small they seem to be, can be a huge milestone. For me, one of them was walking without hand crutches in the house. I actually remember that day. I was trying to help my brothers clean up the basement, and I bent over, and picked up a toy without falling! I remember starting to walk around in circles, and we excitedly called my dad downstairs! Yes, there were many falls, there still are! But God has helped me through them!

After that, things got a little easier. Once school started, I received an occupational therapist, named Betty Whitney, who helped me with my fine motor skills. No, I can’t hold the pencil the “proper” way, but hey, I can write! School for me was a struggle in the math department more than any other subject, but I’m thankful I was homeschooled. Yes, mom and I had our days, but she didn’t quit on me, and didn’t let me give up. I graduated in 2016.

Growing up on a farm cultivated in me a love for horses, and so riding them for therapy was introduced to me at the age of 5, and I did that for three years, and as a bonus, was introduced to the Calgary Stampede Princesses of that year.

Around the years of 5, 6, and 8, I had Botox injections in my legs to relax the spastic muscles. To this day I hate needles, probably because of them. I unfortunately developed a hatred for doctors while going through all those things, but God was going to teach me something about that in a hard year to come.

Botox, eye surgeries, stretching and doctors weren’t all my life was though. I played floor hockey for a time, using my crutches, until I kept getting hurt, and dad said enough was enough. I learned how to bake, do laundry, and cook, although, while living at home I only knew spaghetti and probably a few other things. I rode horses, played with dogs, and even got a trike at the age of ten that a neighbor and some of his friends gave to me. It was special, because I’d been wanting to ride bikes like my brothers were. Learning to ride it was a process, but another milestone accomplished.

2014 was a year that tested my courage and my trust in God.Several years prior, the doctors had given the option of surgery to correct my left leg,wanting to make it straighter so it didn’t rub my other leg. I was doing well enough with exercises that they said I didn’t need it. By 2014, they put the offer back on the table. I didn’t want it. There were a lot of tears, a lot of emotions, and fear. My Dad encouraged me to commit it God, and pray about it while trying to make such a huge decision. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever made, but after praying hard, I decided to do it. Through that time, I grew spiritually, while learning to trust God. Such a peace came over me after making the decision to do it. I can’t explain it, except to say it was from Him. On October 1, 2014, I had the surgery. It was hard, but I don’t think would change it. There were a lot of ups and downs in that chapter of my life, but God was with me through all of it, and He can be for you too, all you have to do is trust!

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