If you were looking for a more tangible day-to-day example of emotional burden, consider say: a mid-twenties woman in a suburban area looking to procure an intrauterine device to prevent pregnancy for up to ten years. This would require at least 2–3 doctors visits with invasive questioning as to why pregnancy must be prevented and for how long and current sexual activity and anticipated future sexual activity (plus associated time off work and routine upheaval), at least 2–3 hours research (to determine what type of device to have placed copper vs hormonal and associated side effects of each, whether to pre-purchase a device or use one provided by a clinic, find a clinic with sufficient proximity to home to allow for travel assuming one can be found at all, to determine whether to undergo local or twilight anaesthetic — bearing in mind what implications that has for transport home, and so on and so on), and then she finally gets to the logistical execution of arranging and undertaking the procedure (e.g., timing an appointment to fall in the middle of the Venn diagram of clinic availability and either the woman’s period or two-week abstinence prior to the procedure — because the placement of an IUD can induce miscarriage, the clinic needs to be assured that no pregnancy has occurred prior to the procedure so that they can’t be accused of providing an abortion). The procedure itself would cost in monetary terms around $300, usually, plus/minus. All the while a heterosexual partner… goes about his daily life? Throws his condoms away to ready himself?
Again, my experience getting a vasectomy isn’t any different. After years of nagging my GP, when I get the appointment with the Urologist I have to face several questions about my sex life and relationship status. I go to the appointment thinking they are going to do it that day. But no, I had to be counseled by the resident on what I was asking for. Did I realize it is permanent and that if I ever changed my mind it would likely not be reversible. He wanted to know what my wife thought about it. So much for my body, my choice eh? He gave me some reading on it, then the Dr came in and we did the whole thing again. Finally I was told to make another appointment in 2 weeks so I “could think it over” and then they would do the procedure if I still wanted it.
Two weeks later when I show up, they put me on the table and get me ready. The Doc comes in and literally while holding my vas, he asks me yet again if I am sure and that I understand it’s permanent. I again tell him I understand the ramifications and to proceed.
It’s not exactly a drive thru process for men to exercise the only options outside of condoms that we have either. But to call that “emotional burden” is to overstate something that most people think of as just a part of being an adult and exercising our choices, and accepting the adult responsibilities that go with those rights and choices.
