Mister Alighieri
Aug 25, 2017 · 3 min read

And, as for emotional burden: as I think we can establish from this article and responses alone, in the current state of play responsibility for preventing pregnancy in heterosexual relationships disproportionately falls on women (the “fertility work”). It’s not just the financial responsibility ($ spent on doctors visits, prescriptions, etc.), or the physical responsibility (e.g., side effects), but also the associated time, attention and stress (e.g., maintaining a life routine that allows for a pill to be taken at the exact same time each day, or time spent researching and evaluating contraceptive methods, or preparing for invasive procedures, or…). These activities and behaviours have a definitively gendered distribution, even though there are less common contraceptive behaviours (e.g., as you suggest, male vasectomy) that would indicate it is entirely possible for the burden to be shared. And it’s not just a once-off appointment or prescription or decision: women spend anywhere up to thirty years of their life actively avoiding pregnancy (massive generalisation, I know, but we’re talking about an aggregate concept here), and the responsibility for maintaining contraception throughout all of that time remains with them.

The responsibility for preventing pregnancy falls on women more because they have the options again men’s options are very limited. We simply have condoms or permanent sterilization. That’s pretty much it. So yes a woman has to sort out the choices and methods and stick to them. That’s part of being an adult that wants to exercise a right, it comes with responsibilities and requirements. That is unless you want men making those choices for you.

Look at the difficulty that women experience accessing a permanent contraceptive solution (sterilisation) compared with the relative ease with which men can access their equivalent. As you said, for you it was $700 and a few days on the couch watching video games — while women face an uphill battle even finding a physician who will perform the procedure, before the expense ($ and time investment) even really begins. When you look at it, your getting a vasectomy was the ultimate feminist act. Well done ;)

Hold up there. I wanted a vasectomy at 18. No doctor would do it. They wanted me to have had 2 kids and my partner to sign off on it. Oh that and I was too young and would grow out of it. Sounds pretty similar to what women say they hear, doesn’t it? At 25, I asked my GP doctor about it, he told me that he wanted me to wait till I was at least married before making that choice. Though he did say that if I wanted it done and was willing to pay for it out of pocket that there are Urologists that would do it for me. He gave me the choice, though not a recommendation. After I married, I asked again and he finally gave me a name of a urologist who would do it. It wasn’t like it was a quick ask and it just happened.

My vasectomy was in no way a feminist act. It was an act of self preseveration. I never wanted kids, and suddenly my wife had developed “issues” with the pill, and then her IUD went missing, and pregnancy tests started being hidden in the bathroom.

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