Sorry, Charlie.
Kathleen Granville

it would have ended the first time harassment was even attempted. The victims would be believed immediately, without debate about what they were wearing, where they were at what time of night and if they had done ANYTHING to “lead the accused on”. The accused could not hide behind “oh, I thought we were bonding” or “I was JUST trying to be friendly” or any other bullshit excuse to cover up their own inability to keep their sexual predation out of the office.

What if the accuser is actually lying? People of all stripes do that. And if getting a promotion only takes an accusation against a superior, some will do so. Some will truly “lead others on” in an effort to move up the chain. I have worked with both males and females that do this. So no we don’t automatically believe the accuser. Guilt must be established before punishment is meted out. That’s a foundational tenet to the rules and laws of society. The phrase often used is “Innocent until proven guilty.”

I see your Brock Turner and give you Elaine Goodman

But this cuts both ways, but usually harder on men.

Generally men get longer sentenses for the same crime.

I agree that Turner got off light and that the woman will live with it forever. But you seem to think being on the sex offender registry is a non-issue.

I would be willing to discuss the circumstances so that I could decide if I was personally able to begin a relationship with such a person.

You might, but most would hear “Sexual Offender Registry” and simply say “Next” Because if a partner is on it, you will be affected. There will be places you can’t live, can’t go, and all neighbors will know and make assumptions. I knew a guy that was put on it because when he turned 18, the parents of his HS gf called the cops on him. They didn’t like him and wanted him away from their daughter. He was convicted of statutory rape because the state didn’t have a Romeo law. So he had to register. He could never hold a job for long because as soon as his employer got heat for “hiring a pervert and sex offender” he was let go. After about 5 years of the misery he endured, he killed himself. So at least there is one less sex offender running around raping, amiright?

Men lose out just as much because they are as affected by those abusers as the female victims. They have to be very careful about being “not a creeper”;

This is true and so very subjective. Any guy making an unwanted advance on a girl can be and likely will be called a creep. However there is no way to know before hand if she will accept the advance or it is unwanted. Maybe she “just thinks of you as a friend” or “you are just like a brother to me” or maybe she simply is leading the guy on to utilize his resources but flirts just enough so the guy thinks she is interested

genuine interest and friendliness has to be kept tightly in check so as to not appear to be after something more than shoptalk.

At work it’s best to not to try to date anyway, but also never talk about anything personal outside of business. Keep personal and professional separate at all times.

Women are wary with ALL men, even as we understand that it’s NOT ALL men — because until we know for sure, for ourselves, we HAVE to assume that “this man” could be an abuser. And those separate fears combine to block genuine interaction as peers between men and women.

And Men are starting to be wary with ALL women, even as we understand that it’s NOT ALL women — because until we know for sure, for ourselves, we HAVE to assume that “this woman” could be an accuser. And those separate fears combine to block genuine interaction as peers between men and women. There is even a term for it now MGTOW.

And we all lose the chance to make a better workplace, a better world because there are people who think they are somehow more worthy than others, particularly others who are not able to coldcock them in the face when they are egregiously out of line.

There will always be people who think they are more worthy than others. That’s a human condition. But by all means if you think you can, coldcock a few of them and see how that turns out for you.

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